When was the last time you had peanuts? Or maybe, peanut butter? Well, if you're like me, you're eating it right now. Right out of the jar. With a knife. Hey, don't judge me! Sure, peanuts are tasty, but they're also a lie. And the truth has been covered up for centuries.
Peanuts aren't actually nuts, they're freakin' beans!
They're an edible legume seed! That's right. All this time, you've been eating goober peas and pea butter like a sucker. It's consumer fraud, plain and simple!
Yet, why isn't anyone upset about this cover-up? Why aren't people rioting in the streets about this blatant deception? I'll tell you why. Because the FTC, FDA, and mainstream media are being paid to stay quiet about it.
This cover-up is being banked by Big Legume.
After the damage lima beans did to their brand image centuries ago, Big Legume “rebranded” goober peas as pea-“nuts” in an effort to profit off people's love for hard-walled, fruit kernels.
That's because the global market for nuts is $1.3 trillion dollars, nearly twice the global market for legumes.
So, by tricking people into believing that beans are nuts, Big Legume now has more than enough money to buy-off anyone who might discover the cover-up and leak their dark secret. All of which begs the obvious question: Where's my effing check?!?
