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CrosbyReport™

Peter Crosby’s satirical take on travel.

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Category: travel

Jordan’s Wadi Rum is like visiting Mars without being the billionaire CEO of a rocket company.
Asiatravel

Jordan’s Wadi Rum is like visiting Mars without being the billionaire CEO of a rocket company.

11/12/202205/31/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

Why visit the Red Planet when you can experience all its inhospitality and desolation right here on Earth?

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Israel’s Masada would make an amazing Airbnb if its last occupants hadn’t trashed the place.
Asiatravel

Israel’s Masada would make an amazing Airbnb if its last occupants hadn’t trashed the place.

11/11/202205/25/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

The Ancient Romans aren’t getting their security deposit back.

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Everything you were told about Bethlehem as a kid was a lie.
Asiatravel

Everything you were told about Bethlehem as a kid was a lie.

11/10/202205/25/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

Bethlehem is nothing like the place they told you about in the Bible.

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Jerusalem may be popular with Christians, but Jesus probably hated the godforsaken place.
Asiatravel

Jerusalem may be popular with Christians, but Jesus probably hated the godforsaken place.

11/09/202205/25/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

People have been returning to Jerusalem for almost 2,000 years, but why would Jesus ever go back?

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The Holy Land inspired three bestselling books that have more devoted fans than Harry Potter.
Asiatravel

The Holy Land inspired three bestselling books that have more devoted fans than Harry Potter.

11/08/202205/25/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

Visit the only place that’s a more popular backdrop for blockbuster books than Hogwarts.

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The visions people had in Jaffa were inspired by either religious fervor or a ton of opiates.
Asiatravel

The visions people had in Jaffa were inspired by either religious fervor or a ton of opiates.

11/07/202205/25/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

St. Peter had a vision in Jaffa that changed Christianity forever. Or was he just high?

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Tel Aviv is located in the Holy Land yet, weirdly, it’s never once mentioned in the Bible.
Asiatravel

Tel Aviv is located in the Holy Land yet, weirdly, it’s never once mentioned in the Bible.

11/07/202205/25/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

Find out why ancient religious authors entirely passed on writing about Tel Aviv, Israel.

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Positano Italy is so superficially attractive, I can’t believe it hasn’t leaked a sex tape.
Europetravel

Positano Italy is so superficially attractive, I can’t believe it hasn’t leaked a sex tape.

05/12/202201/10/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

Positano is the Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian of Italy’s Amalfi Coast. Good-looking, but light on substance.

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Amalfi Italy was once a major port, so some lazy Italians named the entire coast after it.
Europetravel

Amalfi Italy was once a major port, so some lazy Italians named the entire coast after it.

05/11/202201/10/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

At the mouth of a deep ravine, Amalfi Italy looks like it got vomited out of the surrounding mountains.

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Travel Reports

  • Pompeii was the orgasm capital of Ancient Rome until Mt. Vesuvius came all over the place.
    05/08/2022
  • Lisbon is the city San Francisco could’ve been if the Internet hadn’t totally effed it up.
    03/03/2020
  • South America: We visited our fellow Americans below the equator.
    06/03/2012
  • Belize: It’s like a giant saltwater aquarium that isn’t all full of fish poop.
    01/02/2016
  • Jamaica: Land of sun, fun and Cohibas.
    11/10/1996
  • Reading, England: It’s close to a lot of other, better places to visit.
    03/02/2010
  • Quito Ecuador: The world’s second-highest capital city (and not because they legalized drugs).
    06/11/2012

QUICK LINKS

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Latest Newsletters

  • I confess that I’m not the person a lot of people think I am.
    05/31/2023
  • How I solved my wife’s snoring problem.
    05/01/2023
  • I let ChatGPT write this. And it did not go well.
    04/01/2023
  • Recently, I’ve had some thoughts about sand.
    03/01/2023
  • Crowds at New Year's EveHow to make better New Year’s resolutions in 2023.
    02/01/2023
  • fire burning in the street at nightWell, there’s another year down in the dustbin of history.
    12/30/2022
  • forest covered in white fogA friendly reminder that the holiday season doesn’t end in January.
    12/01/2022
  • gray and black galaxy wallpaperThe future of travel isn’t terrestrial.
    11/01/2022
  • person in black and grey raglan hoodie near body of waterWhy it’s best to never reevaluate your life.
    10/01/2022
QUICK LINKS

Australia | Austria | Belize | Canada | Caribbean | China | Costa Rica | Ecuador | Egypt | England | France | Germany | Greece | Guatemala | Hungary | Indonesia | Ireland | Israel | Italy | Jamaica | Japan | Jordan | South Korea | Malaysia | Mexico | Morocco | Netherlands | Peru | Polynesia | Portugal | Scotland | Singapore | Spain | Thailand | United Kingdom | United States

(CC)OPYRIGHT

The CrosbyReport™ is written by former Advertising Creative Director turned internationally unknown tourist, Peter Crosby. Typed up while day-drinking in Tampa, Florida, this site chronicles Peter’s travels to far more interesting places around the world. All writing and photos are licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0 unless otherwise noted.

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