The acronym, FAQs, stands for Frequently Asked Questions. These all-too-common questions are the bane of every popular online property, needlessly burdening its support personnel with queries such as, “Why is the Earth flat?”, “Is my husband cheating on me?”, or “Does this rash look infected to you?” In anticipation of the CrosbyReport one day becoming a popular online property, I thought I’d nip those oft asked queries in the proverbial bud by writing Frequently Given Answers to those very same Frequently Asked Questions.
The top ten CrosbyReport™ FAQs.
What exactly would I be signing up for?
Every month or so, you’ll get an email that may or may not be about something. Often, it is about nothing.
How much does it cost?
It’s free, because who would pay for this nonsense?
Why are you doing this?
I’m retired and need a creative outlet to prevent the voices inside my head from making me…do things.
When did you start doing this?
Back in 1991, I left New York to pursue a career in advertising and started writing the CrosbyReport because I mistakenly thought my friends back home were interested in what I was doing. They weren’t.
Are you now, or have you ever been, a moron?
Yes.
How do you intend to monetize this operation?
Good question.
Where would a guy go to find a decent sandwich around here?
Quizno’s is pretty good.
I read somewhere that you were writing a book, how’s that going?
It’s coming along.
My iTunes isn’t syncing to my iPhone, can you help?
Sure, go here.
Why aren’t you doing more with your life?
Shut up, Mom.
Admit it, you’ve given out your email for less.
Only once a month, and it’s FREE! Because who’d pay for this nonsense?
