FAQs, or Frequently Asked Questions, about the CrosbyReport.

The acronym, FAQs, stands for Frequently Asked Questions. These all-too-common questions are the bane of every popular online property, needlessly burdening its support personnel with queries such as, “Why is the Earth flat?”, “Is my husband cheating on me?”, or “Does this rash look infected to you?” In anticipation of the CrosbyReport one day becoming a popular online property, I thought I’d nip those oft asked queries in the proverbial bud by writing Frequently Given Answers to those very same Frequently Asked Questions.

The top ten CrosbyReport™ FAQs.

What exactly would I be signing up for?

Every month or so, you’ll get an email that may or may not be about something. Often, it is about nothing. Will it be funny? You mean, on purpose? I can’t make any promises.

How much does the CrosbyReport™ newsletter cost?

It’s free, because who would pay for this nonsense?

Why are you doing this email newsletter?

I needed a creative outlet to prevent the voices inside my head from making me…do things.

When did you start writing the CrosbyReport?

Back in 1991, I left New York to pursue a career in advertising and started writing the CrosbyReport because I thought my friends back home would be interested in what I was doing. They weren’t.

How do you intend to monetize the CrosbyReport?

Good question. I’m open to any ideas or suggestions you might have.

I read somewhere that you were writing a book, how’s that going?

It’s been coming along for a while now.

What is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything?

41

Are you now, or have you ever been, a moron?

Yes.

My iTunes isn’t syncing to my iPhone, can you help?

Sure, go here.

Why aren’t you doing more with your life?

Shut up, Dad.

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