Carcinogenic smoke billowed from the burned awning of the upscale clothier, as the SFPD and SFFD converged on the scene like a SWAT team. Evacuations began immediately at Charles Schwab, Banana Republic and the Crocker Galleria.
Pandemonium reigned as people scurried around the area looking for intact outfits or un-charred ensembles that might have been blown from the store's stockroom. The swanky storefront's display window—which comprised a WASP-y man (presumably named “Chad”) with a pink cardigan wrapped jauntily around his shoulders playing Croquet with his frigid, passive-aggressive wife in a bland ivory sweater and capri pants—was utterly destroyed.
No official cause of the explosion has been given; police are investigating.
[Update: It was caused by a fault in an underground transformer, and not an anti-globalization terrorist cell as widely assumed.]