You’ve been unsubscribed. (Happy, now?)
Well, I certainly hope so. Because it’s going to take me years of therapy—the expensive kind—to get over such a devastating blow to my self-esteem.
Sure, I may come off as “together” or “well-adjusted,” but this kind of rejection cuts deeply because I was never really wanted as a child. While my parents would never admit that I was a mistake, I could tell they never wanted a blogger in the family.
Hey, can I ask you one last favor?
Before you send me spiraling into clinical depression, lemme just ask why did you wanna unsubscribe?
- Did I send too many emails? I mean, LinkedIn® sends way more emails and they’re not funny unless they suggest jobs at Chuck E. Cheese’s or Microsoft.
- Was my content not relevant? Honestly, I’m surprised. How could you not care about where I’ve been, what I’m doing, what I think, and what I —oh, okay…I see it now.
- Was my content offensive? I’m truly sorry, but that’s not exactly “off-brand” for me. It’s a birth defect.
Okay, it’s done. You’ve successfully unsubscribed from The CrosbyReport™ mailing list. Yeah, you’re good to go now. I won’t send you any more emails. Nope. We’re all done here.
But I have to say, this is a bit unexpected and, frankly, a little upsetting. I mean, basically what you’re saying is not just that you don’t want to read my writing anymore — that’s fine, I get that — but that you don’t even want to know that it exists. Ouch.
That’s pretty harsh.
No, no, I’ll get over it. You know, in time. It’s okay, I’m an adult.
Feeling guilty yet? Re-subscribe!
I’ll even take back all the terrible things I was going to say about you.