When writing my CrosbyReports, the destinations themselves are of little importance. In fact, to be perfectly honest, they’re almost beside the point. They’re nothing more than a subject or topic around which to make stupid jokes. So if you’re expecting to learn something useful about travel destinations like Lisbon, the Sahara, or Tahiti, you’ll be sorely disappointed. My apologies.
Reykjavík Iceland is the perfect winter vacation for vampires with insomnia.
From September to April, few places on earth are friendlier to undead bloodsuckers.
Turkey’s Antalya Province still has tons of Roman ruins, because return shipping would’ve cost a fortune.
If you like Ancient Roman architecture, then you’ll love Perge, Aspendos, Myra, and Hierapolis.
Turkey’s ancient city of Ephesus is so intact, the locals probably don’t know the Roman Empire fell yet.
This ancient Greco-Roman city is the oldest and most complete site ever excavated while people probably still lived there.
Is Kekova, Turkey’s “Underwater City,” actually Plato’s famed city of Atlantis? Sure, let’s go with that.
There’s no evidence that Kekova WASN’T the embodiment of a civilization corrupted by wealth, technology, and might.
Antalya has the same weather as other Mediterranean beach towns, just not their exchange rates.
Turkey’s city of Antalya is proof that the Mediterranean climate doesn’t end just because Europe does.
Turkey’s Cappadocia region would be the perfect place to trip on ’shrooms.
Do you like deserts and phalli, but can’t afford to attend Burning Man?
The megacity of Istanbul borders on Europe, Asia, and the inexplicable.
There’s no way to explain the scale of Istanbul, Turkey without making the city feel bad about its weight.
It’s hard to believe Petra still exists, considering that the place is basically water-soluble.
The sandstone city of Petra would’ve washed away if it had rained for any length of time in the last two millennia.
Jordan’s Wadi Rum is like visiting Mars without being the billionaire CEO of a rocket company.
Why visit the Red Planet when you can experience all its inhospitality and desolation right here on Earth?
Israel’s Masada would make an amazing Airbnb if its last occupants hadn’t trashed the place.
If there’s one thing I know for certain, the Ancient Romans aren’t getting their security deposit back.
Everything you were told about Bethlehem as a kid was a lie.
Bethlehem is nothing like the place they told you about in the Bible.
Jerusalem may be popular with Christians, but Jesus probably hated the godforsaken place.
People have been returning to Jerusalem for almost 2,000 years, but why would Jesus ever go back?