While researching Pompeii, I stumbled upon a photo of “Pompeii’s unluckiest guy” on CNN, and he inspired the following skit.
read more >Tag: travel
It’s now five years later, and a lot has changed in technology and the world.
read more >
When writing my CrosbyReports, the travel destinations themselves are of no importance. In fact, to be perfectly honest, they’re almost beside the point. They’re nothing more than a subject or topic around which to make stupid jokes. So if you’re expecting to learn something useful about travel destinations like Lisbon, the Sahara, or Tahiti, you will be sorely disappointed. My apologies.
Pompeii was the orgasm capital of Ancient Rome until Mt. Vesuvius came all over the place.
Like ancient Atlantis, this once-flourishing metropolis vanished suddenly without a trace. Or did it?
Naples Italy is dirty, noisy, and crowded. But the city has its downsides, too.
Naples Italy is a vibrant city that’s veritably overflowing with restaurants, shopping, gelato, and shipping containers.
Last flight out of Marrakech: Our mostly true tale of survival during a global pandemic.
While Morocco was still allowing flights out for the time being, our window for escape was closing fast.
Want to take the “Marrakesh Express” to Marrakesh Morocco? What are you, high?
It’s yet another reason why I hate Crosby, Stills & Nash.
Morocco’s Atlas Mountains aren’t the world’s tallest, but at least they’re not more @#$%ing desert.
Morocco’s local mountain range is nothing to sneeze at.
Africa’s Sahara Desert is hot, dry, and sandy AF.
We go glamping on the last exit for civilization.
Chefchaouen Morocco is called the “Blue City” because people have eyes.
A city in northwestern Morocco that’s noted for blue paint shortages.
Tangier Morocco is close to Europe, but don’t hold that against the place.
Is that the Atlantic Ocean? Or the Mediterranean Sea? Surprise, it’s both!
The Douro Valley is Portugal’s less snooty version of Napa.
The dress code here is basically, “Just wear pants.”
No city crams in more Europe per square inch than Porto, Portugal.
Experience Europe in its most concentrated form.
It only took a global pandemic for me to catch up on my backlog of writing.
read more >
I’ll be honest: I didn’t know Anthony Bourdain was a chef.
read more >
We gave Paris another chance to not suck, and it didn’t at all.
read more >
Perspectives you won’t get from
The CrosbyReport is a satirical take on travel by internationally unknown tourist, Peter Crosby.
Read the latest CrosbyReports.
Jordan’s Wadi Rum is like visiting Mars without being the billionaire CEO of a rocket company.
Why visit the Red Planet when you can experience all its inhospitality and desolation right here on Earth?
Israel’s Masada would make an amazing Airbnb if its last occupants hadn’t trashed the place.
The Ancient Romans aren’t getting their security deposit back.
Everything you were told about Bethlehem as a kid was a lie.
Bethlehem is nothing like the place they told you about in the Bible.
Jerusalem may be popular with Christians, but Jesus probably hated the godforsaken place.
People have been returning to Jerusalem for almost 2,000 years, but why would Jesus ever go back?
Don’t be fooled, this only looks like a travel blog.
Yet the CrosbyReport is not another damn travel blog. A recent Google search for “travel blog” returned 3.6 billion results—yeah, with a B. That’s how many unemployed English Lit majors and failed romance novelists have already posted self-indulgent travelogues about café-hopping through Western Europe.
But, what you can’t easily Google (because I’m not great at Search Engine Optimization) is my singular—and wholly unsolicited—perspective on the world’s top tourist destinations. For that, you have to read my travel reports, join the CrosbyReport mailing list, or stop by my house, which is currently in no condition to accept visitors.
The CrosbyReport is a humor blog (about travel).
Why did I choose travel, you ask? Frankly, the hardest part of my writing is coming up with topics to write about. And since travel is something my wife forces me to do with shocking regularity, it gives me a steady stream of unexpected encounters, awkward interactions, and embarrassing indiscretions—enough to even write a freakin’ book.
International travel is, in a word, “comedy gold.”
After all, what other experience forcibly interjects you into the lives of strangers who speak a different language, have different customs and values, and really don’t want you around? I mean, besides an open-mic standup set at a Chinatown laundromat.
Don’t take my word for it, read the CrosbyReport yourself.
Hey, if you don’t find my travel reports at least mildly amusing, let me know on Mastodon, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram, and I’ll sulk around for days, maybe longer—that’s my solemn promise to you.*
*Guarantee not valid anywhere capable of supporting human life or lawyers.