Napa Valley: Where classy people overpay to get plastered.

The Napa Valley is full of beautiful places to get stinking drunk.

Seoul, Korea: The city where smartphones never sleep.

Once in a while, I get the chance to go somewhere far away for a stupid length of time, and Seoul recently made that list.

Prague: Where people hate expensive beer almost as much as Communism.

Since throwing off the yolk of authoritarianism, the Czechs have been disinclined to pass restrictive laws so what more reason do you need to go?

Vienna: The birthplace of Sigmund Freud and penis—wait, I mean psychoanalysis!

Compared to the other cities in Austria that I’ve never been to, Vienna is the best.

Budapest: The place to party in the year 2896 (mark your calendar now).

When a nation spends almost its entire GNP on a single soiree, you really want to get on that invitation list.

Antarctica, South Pole

What do I do look like, a crazy person? Yeah, that’s not happening. Ever. Forget about it.

Munich, Germany is home to high-tech business and high-octane beer.

When you think of Germany, you probably think of Hitler. But guess where he got his start?

Phuket: It’s called ‘poo-KET,’ not FOO-ket (and definitely not ‘FUK-it’).

We’d heard that Phuket was popular. Despite that, we decided to go there anyway.

Bangkok: A lot fewer prostitutes and lady-boys than we expected.

We expected Bangkok to be a vile den of unspeakable horrors and human degradation, I mean, why else go there?