It only took a global pandemic for me to catch up on my backlog of writing.
read more >Tag: travel humor
Rest assured, that when this book is finally finished, it will not have been worth the wait. I guarantee it.
read more >Do you like to travel? Can you read?
Then you should buy—and maybe even peruse—my forthcoming travel book.
While being dragged around much of this planet by my wife over the last 30+ years, I’ve had a number of noteworthy experiences which made me think, “Hey, I should write that down!” And, eventually, I had a lot of notes about travel experiences that made me think, “Hey, I should make some money off of these!” So, I cobbled together an actual book, complete with chapters and everything.
Why would anyone in their right mind write yet another travel book?
Look, I’ve got my reasons, pal. So don’t worry your pretty little head about why I do the things I do. You should worry more about why you do the things that you do. I mean, come on, you call that a haircut? And who dresses you, your mother? If I were you, I’d get my own house in order before questioning the motives of others.
“This is easily the most effort I’ve ever put toward anything, and if people don’t like it, I’ll spiral downward into crushing despair and substance abuse.”
Peter Crosby is an award-winning, professional writer who has won the very real International Writer’s Contest. He currently lives with his shockingly attractive wife and her stupid cats in the San Francisco Tampa Bay Area where he drinks wine and watches too much TV.
Read what others have said about the author.
“Whenever I am on an adventure to a third-world Dictatorland® and need a wingman who I can count on to provide caustic banter, wear homeless skate-punk garb, use regional profanity, and drink like an unemployed stevedore, Pete is my main man. If he’s not available, I call his spirit animal, Anthony Bourdain.”
—David Jellison, Idea Pimp
“Crosby has been doggedly writing online about his international travels since the Palm Pilot epoch. The thought of an actual book collecting those writings and preserving them forever fills me with dread.”
—Kevin Zimmerman, Editor/Jackhole
“Peter has visited some incredible places all over the globe, and now brings that wealth of personal experience to his writing, for all I know.”
—Ward Evans, Writer/Director
“Peter Crosby has a face for radio, but a nose for travel.”
—Graham Lee, Chief Creative Officer
“Hands and feet down, the most traveled biped I know in the 48 contiguous states.”
—Terry Doyle, Writer
“Nothing makes me want to leave the country faster than Peter Crosby.”
—Mike Ruiz, Creative Director
Find out when my travel book drops.
If you’re not persuaded to sign up after reading endorsements from people you probably don’t know and will likely never meet, then there’s nothing more I can do other than threatening your family, and I’m honestly not above that, Janet!
(Just click submit once, then chill—I have a slow server.)
Perspectives you won’t get from
The CrosbyReport is a satirical take on travel by internationally unknown tourist, Peter Crosby.
Read the latest CrosbyReports.
Jordan’s Wadi Rum is like visiting Mars without being the billionaire CEO of a rocket company.
Why visit the Red Planet when you can experience all its inhospitality and desolation right here on Earth?
Israel’s Masada would make an amazing Airbnb if its last occupants hadn’t trashed the place.
The Ancient Romans aren’t getting their security deposit back.
Everything you were told about Bethlehem as a kid was a lie.
Bethlehem is nothing like the place they told you about in the Bible.
Jerusalem may be popular with Christians, but Jesus probably hated the godforsaken place.
People have been returning to Jerusalem for almost 2,000 years, but why would Jesus ever go back?
Don’t be fooled, this only looks like a travel blog.
Yet the CrosbyReport is not another damn travel blog. A recent Google search for “travel blog” returned 3.6 billion results—yeah, with a B. That’s how many unemployed English Lit majors and failed romance novelists have already posted self-indulgent travelogues about café-hopping through Western Europe.
But, what you can’t easily Google (because I’m not great at Search Engine Optimization) is my singular—and wholly unsolicited—perspective on the world’s top tourist destinations. For that, you have to read my travel reports, join the CrosbyReport mailing list, or stop by my house, which is currently in no condition to accept visitors.
The CrosbyReport is a humor blog (about travel).
Why did I choose travel, you ask? Frankly, the hardest part of my writing is coming up with topics to write about. And since travel is something my wife forces me to do with shocking regularity, it gives me a steady stream of unexpected encounters, awkward interactions, and embarrassing indiscretions—enough to even write a freakin’ book.
International travel is, in a word, “comedy gold.”
After all, what other experience forcibly interjects you into the lives of strangers who speak a different language, have different customs and values, and really don’t want you around? I mean, besides an open-mic standup set at a Chinatown laundromat.
Don’t take my word for it, read the CrosbyReport yourself.
Hey, if you don’t find my travel reports at least mildly amusing, let me know on Mastodon, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram, and I’ll sulk around for days, maybe longer—that’s my solemn promise to you.*
*Guarantee not valid anywhere capable of supporting human life or lawyers.