Everything you ever wanted to know about Peter Crosby, but really didn’t.

Learn the awful truth about Peter Crosby, the award-winning writer, photographer, and internationally unknown tourist.

Peter Crosby, internationally unknown humorist.

Peter Crosby is a man of diverse skills and confusing interests. In a previous life, he was an advertising Creative Director/Art Director/Copywriter, and even a half-assed cartoonist. But now he’s an internationally unknown travel humorist, landscape photographer, computer nerd, middling trumpet player, and pseudo-super-taster. When he’s not pursuing any of those activities, Crosby busies himself by drinking cheap box wine and staring blankly into his TV set, wondering where all the years have gone.

The early years of Peter Crosby began shortly after birth.

Surprised that I collected comic books as a kid? You shouldn’t be.

Born fifth, the youngest son of a typical suburban family, Peter Crosby spent his early childhood like many American kids — reading comic books and watching network television sitcoms.

This intellectually bankrupt upbringing led to social dysfunction and a lack of achievement, despite being constantly reminded of his “above-average intelligence” by motivation-killing teachers (“Peter’s obviously bright, he just doesn’t apply himself to our pointless exercises and tedious busy-work”).

Peter Crosby’s anemic academic record was a testament to both his boredom with traditional education methodology and his sugary cereal-fueled hyperactivity.

Peter Crosby takes full responsibility for everything about him that can’t be reasonably blamed on his parents.

Crosby showed early signs of promise, and late stage psychopathy.

Possibly my proudest achievement in life. How sad is that?

There were some bright spots during Peter’s school years. In the sixth grade, for example, Crosby drew the best Snoopy® in his elementary school and subsequently awarded a ceramic Linus® piggy bank. Why not a ceramic Snoopy piggy bank? He never asked. Yet, over the decades, this crappy branded merchandise has become a priceless collector’s item.

After decades spent unsuccessfully attempting to surpass that meager achievement, however, Peter gave up trying to do anything meaningful with his life and went into advertising. Why advertising? Because that’s what people with undiagnosed ADHD do when they have a Bachelor of Arts degree, middling grades, and no other marketable skills.

The end of innocence, but the beginning of a career.

Peter Crosby was once an advertising copywriter.
Not an actual advertising award, though it should be.

For the next 35 years, Crosby worked regularly as an advertising professional in numerous ad agencies from New York to California. He won numerous awards at many of them, and was even asked to judge award shows in other markets. Clearly, Crosby had exceeded the legal limit of success for a person of his highly questionable talent and/or skills.

Plagued by imposter syndrome for much of his career, Peter still lives in constant fear that his beautiful spouse and worldly possessions will be repossessed at any moment by a Washington bureaucrat and Peter’s gloating High School guidance counselor. (“See? I told you that you’d never amount to anything, Mr. Crosby!”)

The confusing current interests of Peter Crosby.

As for Peter’s personal interests, they include watching any British Comedy or Matt Groening TV show, whining about petty annoyances online, and using multiple computers to express his writing, photography, music, and home automation, as well as to alienate his aforementioned beautiful wife.

For fun, Peter Crosby likes to travel with said spouse and write long-winded articles about his trips, primarily for his own golden-year recollections, but also for the vast sea of bored English-reading citizens of the world who should seriously think about getting out more.

Want to know more about Peter Crosby?

Too bad. Bugger off, you’re nosy.

Perspectives you won’t get from travel writers who fact-check their work.

The CrosbyReport is a satirical take on travel by internationally unknown tourist, Peter Crosby.

Read the latest CrosbyReports.

Don’t be fooled, this only looks like a travel blog.

Yet the CrosbyReport is not another damn travel blog. A recent Google search for “travel blog” returned 3.6 billion results—yeah, with a B. That’s how many unemployed English Lit majors and failed romance novelists have already posted self-indulgent travelogues about café-hopping through Western Europe.

Peter Crosby, author of the CrosbyReport
Peter Crosby, Ignoramus.

But, what you can’t easily Google (because I’m not great at Search Engine Optimization) is my singular—and wholly unsolicited—perspective on the world’s top tourist destinations. For that, you have to read my travel reports, join the CrosbyReport mailing list, or stop by my house, which is currently in no condition to accept visitors.

The CrosbyReport is a humor blog (about travel).

Why did I choose travel, you ask? Frankly, the hardest part of my writing is coming up with topics to write about. And since travel is something my wife forces me to do with shocking regularity, it gives me a steady stream of unexpected encounters, awkward interactions, and embarrassing indiscretions—enough to even write a freakin’ book.

International travel is, in a word, “comedy gold.”

After all, what other experience forcibly interjects you into the lives of strangers who speak a different language, have different customs and values, and really don’t want you around? I mean, besides an open-mic standup set at a Chinatown laundromat.

Don’t take my word for it, read the CrosbyReport yourself.

Hey, if you don’t find my travel reports at least mildly amusing, let me know on Mastodon, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram, and I’ll sulk around for days, maybe longer—that’s my solemn promise to you.*


*Guarantee not valid anywhere capable of supporting human life or lawyers.