3 sights in Oaxaca Mexico that almost make up for it not being on a beach.

Oaxaca, Mexico is a full eight-hour drive from the nearest coast. What the hell, am I right?

Mazatlán, Mexico: Lots to do and lots of reasons not to do any of it.

We didn’t pick Mazatlán for its deep-sea fishing, sailing, or any of the other things you can reportedly do there. We picked it for all the things you don’t do there. Namely, put on shoes or pants. This was our “sit around drinking beer while reading People Magazine” vacation. But I still managed to find things to write about: Iguanas, mostly.

Cancun: It’s not all beer chugging and wet t-shirt contests (dammit).

We hadn’t originally planned our two-week vacation to Mexico for its affordability but — when weeks later I found myself unemployed (like the rest of the planet) — it seemed like a prescient choice. Regardless of its favorable exchange rate, Mexico was nonetheless a country with fascinating archeological sites and a rich history that would allow us to slip in a bit of culture between Marghitas.

Cabo San Lucas: A spectacular paradise we’ll probably never go back to.

If you don’t fish, golf or drink there is literally nothing to do in Cabo. And since we rarely golf and almost never fish, drinking was the only option left open to us. Cabo is like Las Vegas only without gold-plated toilets and casinos (but that will be rectified soon). Sure there’s stuff like wave-runners and para-sailing to placate the ugly American tourists, but there are no hiking trails, museums or anything historical/cultural (i.e. interesting) to speak of. As a result, Cabo exists solely to offer foreigners fishing, golf, liver-damage and skin cancer.

Costa Rica: Two weeks in rustic Nirvana

If you’re thinking of going to Mexico, you may want to save your pesos, Amigo. I’ve been there (Acapulco and Puerto Valharta, Cabo San Lucas, Cancun and Mazatlan) and I can honestly say that — as an ugly, uni-lingual American who gets all twitchy when people start talking funny — Costa Rica is a better place to go (unless, of course, you’re looking for cockfights or cocaine).