Antarctica, South Pole

Antarctica, South Pole

Seriously, I am never going to Antarctica/South Pole. What do I do look like, a crazy person? Come on, I’ve seen the IMAX movie about Antarctica and, while the South Pole area certainly looks spectacular, it’s also freaking freezing as sh*t—like Alaska cold.

Oh, and I think that’s the place with polar bears, aka soulless killing machines, right? They are one of the few animals that sees humans as food.

So no, that’s not happening. Ever. Forget about it. You can go, but I will be somewhere warm with a beach, like…I dunno, Bora Bora.