Sign up for my Occasional Email Newsletter Thing.
Is your life a drab, colorless existence devoid of all hope and joy? Then sign up for my Occasional Email Newsletter Thing. Why? Because it’s the only email newsletter out there that won’t depress you with updates on politics or current events (you’re welcome).
So is the CrosbyReport Occasional Email Newsletter Thing really still a newsletter?
Good question, me. But why you gotta be so narrow-minded? Why you gotta pigeon-hole email newsletters into such a predetermined and news-focused existence? Can’t you just let an email newsletter be what it wants to be? “Email newsletter” is a term of oppression used to keep digitally delivered content in a box. And that’s just wrong. Not cool, bro.
This isn’t like any newsletter you’ve unsubscribed from before. That’s because the CrosbyReport(tm) Occasional Email Newsletter Thing doesn’t waste your time trying to disseminate “news” or “content” or “anything helpful or relevant.” Instead, it focuses on providing only the highest quality drivel, blather, and balderdash.
Five reasons to sign up for my Occasional Email Newsletter Thing.
- You’ll receive my “auto-response” email — that alone is worth signing up for.
- You’ll get updates about my latest travels, speaking dates, personal appearances, book launches, and felony arrests.
- You’ll learn about new destinations, travel tips, and in-flight sexual positions
- You’ll finally get one email that isn’t from online pharmacies, singles in your area who want to hook up, or the IRS.
- You can easily unsubscribe if you hate it.
No pressure. Take a moment and think about it. Then, if you feel sufficiently convinced, go ahead and sign up for my newsletter. I want this to be your choice. But you should totally do it.