Destinations

Prague, Czech Republic

Prague: Where people hate expensive beer almost as much as Communism.

The former Soviet Union turned Karl Marx’s naïve, utopian dream into an oppressive and corrupt regime that prompted a Czech revolution in 1989 and doomed communism to the dustbin of history. Since throwing off the yolk of authoritarianism, the Czechs ...
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Vienna: The birthplace of Sigmund Freud and penis—wait, I mean psychoanalysis!

Everything I know about the world-famous doctor, Sigmund Freud, I learned from Mel Brooks, Saturday Night Live, and my “Intro to Psychology 101” class in college. So I was very excited willing to visit Vienna, Austria, the place that had ...
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Budapest: The place to party in the year 2896 (mark your calendar now).

I don’t know a lot about the history of my own people let alone the history of pre-Medieval, Uralic-speaking tribes of Central Europe, but I do know a country of serious partiers when I see them. And when a nation ...
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Antarctica, South Pole

Seriously, I am never going to Antarctica/South Pole. What do I do look like, a crazy person? Come on, I’ve seen the IMAX movie about Antarctica and, while the South Pole area certainly looks spectacular, it’s also freaking freezing as ...
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Munich, Germany is home to high-tech business and high-octane beer.

Munich Germany isn’t one of the country’s more well-known cities, at least not in America. Most Americans are only familiar with the cities they’ve heard mentioned on the “Hogan's Heroes” TV series (like Berlin and the hilariously named Düsseldorf), or ...
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Phuket: It’s called ‘poo-KET,’ not FOO-ket (and definitely not ‘FUK-it’).

We’d heard that Phuket, Thailand was very popular with tourists from all over the world. Despite that fact, we decided to go there anyway. But, to be honest, we didn’t need much convincing: “Wait, the place is sunny, humid, AND ...
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Bangkok: A lot fewer prostitutes and lady-boys than we expected.

We watch a lot of Hollywood movies, so we expected Bangkok to be a horribly seedy place with a dark underworld of illegal activity where sexual deviants and unnatural acts are performed on every corner. Instead, it was an amazing ...
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Santa Cruz, CA

Santa Cruz, California: It’s as close as NorCal comes to having a real beach.

If someone kidnapped you, drugged you and dropped you in Santa Cruz, California — naked and penniless — it’d be months before you’d look out of place (if ever). Not that Santa Cruz has a drug, homeless or naked person ...
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Clearwater Beach: Where the sand’s as white as the people who go there.

Pure white sand beaches. (It kinda looks like blow.) A quick 20-minutes west of Tampa, Florida lies a full two-and-a-half miles of cocaine-white sand named Clearwater Beach. It’s an easily accessible, tropical paradise that makes everyone who visits forget their ...
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Edinburgh, Scotland: A city of culture, arts, science and god&@#^! bagpipes.

According to folklore (and plate tectonics), Scotland was once supposedly warm. If you believe the locals, Scotland — and the whole of Europe, for that matter — was once situated near the equator. The locals paint Ye Olde Scotland as ...
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The Galápagos Islands: We take a vacation from Natural Selection.

Before arriving in the Galápagos Islands, we thought we knew what to expect: A tropical, humid climate with freakish, other-worldly plant- and animal-life. And maybe a Charles Darwin theme park or something. But even better than all that, we found ...
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Quito, Ecuador: Living on an earthquake fault seems sane by comparison.

Though Quito was merely the second capital of the Inca Empire, it was and still is first in “cities surrounded on all sides by active volcanoes.” Its precarious position made for spectacular city views (and a highly profitable insurance industry, ...
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Machu Picchu, Peru: We find the “Lost City of The Incas” right where they left it.

PeruRail’s “Vistadome” train. Though we’re not exactly old, we nevertheless wanted to visit this Wonder of the New World long before we’d involuntarily poop our pants when we saw it. Additionally, we were disinclined to view the place from inside ...
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Urubamba Valley, Peru

Urubamba Valley, Peru: aka “Yucay Valley,” aka “Sacred Valley,” aka “Holy Crap! Valley.”

Many adventure-seeking morons choose to spend five whole days hiking the infamous “Inca Trail,” but that’s just mental when you consider that you can take a perfectly civilized PeruRail train the entire way from the Urubamba Valley to Machu Picchu, ...
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Cusco, Peru: Not everyone who lives in the Andes Mountains crashed their airplane.

At 4,300 miles long, the Andes is the world’s longest continental mountain range. Running North to South, it cuts directly through the middle third of Peru, separating the county’s interior rain-forest from its coastal desert. The Incas thought the Andes ...
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