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CrosbyReport™

Peter Crosby’s satirical take on travel.

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Category: South America

Belize: It’s like a giant saltwater aquarium that isn’t all full of fish poop.
South Americatravel

Belize: It’s like a giant saltwater aquarium that isn’t all full of fish poop.

01/02/201612/08/2022 Posted byPeter Crosby

People don’t come to Belize for white sandy beaches. They come for what most islands don’t have: an epic, ocean-taming barrier reef.

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The Galápagos Islands: We take a vacation from Natural Selection.
South Americatravel

The Galápagos Islands: We take a vacation from Natural Selection.

06/12/201201/23/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

Want to see how much better the world would be if humans never existed? This is the closest you’ll get.

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Quito Ecuador: The world’s second-highest capital city (and not because they legalized drugs).
South Americatravel

Quito Ecuador: The world’s second-highest capital city (and not because they legalized drugs).

06/11/201201/23/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

Though Quito was merely the second capital of the Inca Empire, it was, and still is, first in “cities surrounded on all sides by active volcanoes.”

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Machu Picchu, Peru: We find the “Lost City of The Incas” right where they left it.
South Americatravel

Machu Picchu, Peru: We find the “Lost City of The Incas” right where they left it.

06/09/201201/19/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

We wanted to visit this place before we were so old that we’d involuntarily poop our pants when we saw it.

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Urubamba Valley, Peru: aka “Yucay Valley,” aka “Sacred Valley,” aka “Holy Crap! Valley.”
South Americatravel

Urubamba Valley, Peru: aka “Yucay Valley,” aka “Sacred Valley,” aka “Holy Crap! Valley.”

06/07/201212/08/2022 Posted byPeter Crosby

We had to get there from Cusco by traversing Urubamba Valley, the Sacred Valley of the Incas.

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Cusco Peru: Not everyone who lives in the Andes Mountains crashed their airplane.
South Americatravel

Cusco Peru: Not everyone who lives in the Andes Mountains crashed their airplane.

06/05/201201/20/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

Incas thought the Andes was a great place to build a capital city. Of course, they were hopped up on coca leaves most of the time.

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Hot and dry like LA, Lima Peru even has its clean, breathable air.
South Americatravel

Hot and dry like LA, Lima Peru even has its clean, breathable air.

06/04/201212/08/2022 Posted byPeter Crosby

Lima is an amazing, chaotic city with a rich and tragic heritage that I’d highly recommend visiting.

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South America: We visited our fellow Americans below the equator.
South Americatravel

South America: We visited our fellow Americans below the equator.

06/03/201212/08/2022 Posted byPeter Crosby

South America is full of amazing places like Lima, Cusco, Machu Picchu, the Galápagos, and other places we didn’t visit.

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Costa Rica: Two weeks in rustic Nirvana.
South Americatravel

Costa Rica: Two weeks in rustic Nirvana.

10/12/200001/23/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

If you’re thinking of going to Mexico, you may want to save your pesos, Amigo.

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Travel Reports

  • Prague: Where people hate expensive beer almost as much as Communism.
    08/19/2014
  • Hawaii, The Big Island: Probably not the Hawaii you’re thinking of.
    07/07/2010
  • Phuket, Thailand: It’s called ‘poo-KET,’ not FOO-ket (and definitely not ‘FUK-it’).
    01/02/2014
  • Orlando Florida: We pay homage to “The Rat.”
    06/01/1992
  • The Douro Valley is Portugal’s less snooty version of Napa.
    03/08/2020
  • Jerusalem may be popular with Christians, but Jesus probably hated the godforsaken place.
    11/09/2022
  • Jordan’s Wadi Rum is like visiting Mars without being the billionaire CEO of a rocket company.
    11/12/2022

QUICK LINKS

AUSTRIA AUSTRALIA BELIZE CANADA CARIBBEAN CENTRAL AMERICA CHINA COSTA RICA ECUADOR EGYPT ENGLAND FRANCE GERMANY HUNGARY INDONESIA IRELAND ITALY JAPAN KOREA MALAYSIA MEXICO  MOROCCO NETHERLANDS PERU POLYNESIA PORTUGAL OCEANIA SCOTLAND SINGAPORE SPAIN THAILAND USA

Latest Newsletters

  • A confession: I’m not the person a lot of people think I am.
    05/31/2023
  • How I solved my wife’s snoring problem.
    05/01/2023
  • I let ChatGPT write this. And it did not go well.
    04/01/2023
  • Recently, I’ve had some thoughts about sand.
    03/01/2023
  • Crowds at New Year's EveHow to make better New Year’s resolutions in 2023.
    02/01/2023
  • fire burning in the street at nightWell, there’s another year down in the dustbin of history.
    12/30/2022
  • forest covered in white fogA friendly reminder that the holiday season doesn’t end in January.
    12/01/2022
  • gray and black galaxy wallpaperThe future of travel isn’t terrestrial.
    11/01/2022
  • person in black and grey raglan hoodie near body of waterWhy it’s best to never reevaluate your life.
    10/01/2022
QUICK LINKS

Australia | Austria | Belize | Canada | Caribbean | China | Costa Rica | Ecuador | Egypt | England | France | Germany | Greece | Guatemala | Hungary | Indonesia | Ireland | Israel | Italy | Jamaica | Japan | Jordan | South Korea | Malaysia | Mexico | Morocco | Netherlands | Peru | Polynesia | Portugal | Scotland | Singapore | Spain | Thailand | United Kingdom | United States

(CC)OPYRIGHT

The CrosbyReport™ is written by former Advertising Creative Director turned internationally unknown tourist, Peter Crosby. Typed up while day-drinking in Tampa, Florida, this site chronicles Peter’s travels to far more interesting places around the world. All writing and photos are licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0 unless otherwise noted.

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