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Peter Crosby’s satirical take on travel.

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Category: Europe

Positano Italy is so superficially attractive, I can’t believe it hasn’t leaked a sex tape.
Europetravel

Positano Italy is so superficially attractive, I can’t believe it hasn’t leaked a sex tape.

05/12/202201/10/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

Positano is the Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian of Italy’s Amalfi Coast. Good-looking, but light on substance.

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Amalfi Italy was once a major port, so some lazy Italians named the entire coast after it.
Europetravel

Amalfi Italy was once a major port, so some lazy Italians named the entire coast after it.

05/11/202201/10/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

At the mouth of a deep ravine, Amalfi Italy looks like it got vomited out of the surrounding mountains.

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The towns along Italy’s Amalfi Coast were clearly built by human/mountain goat hybrids.
Europetravel

The towns along Italy’s Amalfi Coast were clearly built by human/mountain goat hybrids.

05/11/202201/14/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

This part of central Italy is an unbelievably beautiful and incredibly stupid place to live.

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Pompeii was the orgasm capital of Ancient Rome until Mt. Vesuvius came all over the place.
Europetravel

Pompeii was the orgasm capital of Ancient Rome until Mt. Vesuvius came all over the place.

05/08/202211/30/2022 Posted byPeter Crosby

Like ancient Atlantis, this once-flourishing metropolis vanished suddenly without a trace. Or did it?

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Naples Italy is dirty, noisy, and crowded. But the city has its downsides, too.
Europetravel

Naples Italy is dirty, noisy, and crowded. But the city has its downsides, too.

05/07/202201/14/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

Naples Italy is a vibrant city that’s veritably overflowing with restaurants, shopping, gelato, and shipping containers.

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The Douro Valley is Portugal’s less snooty version of Napa.
Europetravel

The Douro Valley is Portugal’s less snooty version of Napa.

03/08/202001/23/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

The dress code here is basically, “Just wear pants.”

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No city crams in more Europe per square inch than Porto, Portugal.
Europetravel

No city crams in more Europe per square inch than Porto, Portugal.

03/06/202001/20/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

Experience Europe in its most concentrated form.

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You don’t have to be royalty to enjoy the Portuguese Riviera, but it helps.
Europetravel

You don’t have to be royalty to enjoy the Portuguese Riviera, but it helps.

03/06/202001/19/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

Ask about our “Exiled Royal Family” discount—heirs to the throne eat free!

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Belém District: Where Lisbonians go when they want to GTFO of Lisbon.
Europetravel

Belém District: Where Lisbonians go when they want to GTFO of Lisbon.

03/04/202001/20/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

The Belém District is about as far away as you can go without leaving Lisbon.

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Older posts

Travel Reports

  • The Douro Valley is Portugal’s less snooty version of Napa.
    03/08/2020
  • Vancouver British Columbia: You know, Canada’s good city.
    02/10/2000
  • Budapest Hungary: The place to party in 2896 (mark your calendar now).
    08/18/2014
  • Tokyo Japan is irrefutable proof that the Japanese hate suburbs.
    10/10/2018
  • Italy, France, and Britain: Our glamorous, 3-week European vacation.
    05/14/2003
  • Yosemite California: Nature at its most naturiest.
    10/08/2011
  • San Francisco, CA: Thoughts on the West Coast of America.
    11/10/1998

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Latest Newsletters

  • fire burning in the street at nightWell, there’s another year down in the dustbin of history.
    12/30/2022
  • forest covered in white fogA friendly reminder that the holiday season doesn’t end in January.
    12/01/2022
  • gray and black galaxy wallpaperThe future of travel isn’t terrestrial.
    11/01/2022
  • person in black and grey raglan hoodie near body of waterWhy it’s best to never reevaluate your life.
    10/01/2022
  • Hate flying? That’s because you’re doing it wrong.
    09/01/2022
  • A day in the death of Pompeii’s unluckiest bastard.
    08/01/2022
  • Thoughts I had while watching squirrels flagrantly trespass on my land and steal my acorns.
    07/02/2022
  • Not afraid of clowns? Here’s why you should be.
    06/01/2022
  • How to solve the drug problem in America, using drugs.
    04/01/2022
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The CrosbyReport,™ a satirical website and email newsletter about travel by former advertising Creative Director turned internationally unknown humorist, Peter Crosby, is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.

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