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CrosbyReport™

Peter Crosby’s satirical take on travel.

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Category: Europe

Positano Italy is so superficially attractive, I can’t believe it hasn’t leaked a sex tape.
Europetravel

Positano Italy is so superficially attractive, I can’t believe it hasn’t leaked a sex tape.

05/12/202201/10/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

Positano is the Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian of Italy’s Amalfi Coast. Good-looking, but light on substance.

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Amalfi Italy was once a major port, so some lazy Italians named the entire coast after it.
Europetravel

Amalfi Italy was once a major port, so some lazy Italians named the entire coast after it.

05/11/202201/10/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

At the mouth of a deep ravine, Amalfi Italy looks like it got vomited out of the surrounding mountains.

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The towns along Italy’s Amalfi Coast were clearly built by human/mountain goat hybrids.
Europetravel

The towns along Italy’s Amalfi Coast were clearly built by human/mountain goat hybrids.

05/11/202201/14/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

This part of central Italy is an unbelievably beautiful and incredibly stupid place to live.

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Pompeii was the orgasm capital of Ancient Rome until Mt. Vesuvius came all over the place.
Europetravel

Pompeii was the orgasm capital of Ancient Rome until Mt. Vesuvius came all over the place.

05/08/202211/30/2022 Posted byPeter Crosby

Like ancient Atlantis, this once-flourishing metropolis vanished suddenly without a trace. Or did it?

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Naples Italy is dirty, noisy, and crowded. But the city has its downsides, too.
Europetravel

Naples Italy is dirty, noisy, and crowded. But the city has its downsides, too.

05/07/202201/14/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

Naples Italy is a vibrant city that’s veritably overflowing with restaurants, shopping, gelato, and shipping containers.

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The Douro Valley is Portugal’s less snooty version of Napa.
Europetravel

The Douro Valley is Portugal’s less snooty version of Napa.

03/08/202001/23/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

The dress code here is basically, “Just wear pants.”

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No city crams in more Europe per square inch than Porto, Portugal.
Europetravel

No city crams in more Europe per square inch than Porto, Portugal.

03/06/202001/20/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

Experience Europe in its most concentrated form.

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You don’t have to be royalty to enjoy the Portuguese Riviera, but it helps.
Europetravel

You don’t have to be royalty to enjoy the Portuguese Riviera, but it helps.

03/06/202001/19/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

Ask about our “Exiled Royal Family” discount—heirs to the throne eat free!

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Belém District: Where Lisbonians go when they want to GTFO of Lisbon.
Europetravel

Belém District: Where Lisbonians go when they want to GTFO of Lisbon.

03/04/202001/20/2023 Posted byPeter Crosby

The Belém District is about as far away as you can go without leaving Lisbon.

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Older posts

Travel Reports

  • Calistoga California: How we spent our 6th anniversary, and I do mean “spent.”
    09/03/2001
  • Munich Germany is home to high-tech business and even higher-octane beer.
    05/23/2014
  • Tel Aviv is located in the Holy Land yet, weirdly, it’s never once mentioned in the Bible.
    11/07/2022
  • Guerneville, CA: Get away from everything (including cell coverage).
    08/15/2015
  • Palm Springs, California: Now we can say we went there.
    05/10/1998
  • Oahu Hawai‘i: “All expenses paid trip” turns out to be Advertising Club ruse.
    10/10/1996
  • Beijing China: San Francisco’s Chinatown doesn’t hold a candle to it.
    04/22/2005

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Latest Newsletters

  • A confession: I’m not the person a lot of people think I am.
    05/31/2023
  • How I solved my wife’s snoring problem.
    05/01/2023
  • I let ChatGPT write this. And it did not go well.
    04/01/2023
  • Recently, I’ve had some thoughts about sand.
    03/01/2023
  • Crowds at New Year's EveHow to make better New Year’s resolutions in 2023.
    02/01/2023
  • fire burning in the street at nightWell, there’s another year down in the dustbin of history.
    12/30/2022
  • forest covered in white fogA friendly reminder that the holiday season doesn’t end in January.
    12/01/2022
  • gray and black galaxy wallpaperThe future of travel isn’t terrestrial.
    11/01/2022
  • person in black and grey raglan hoodie near body of waterWhy it’s best to never reevaluate your life.
    10/01/2022
QUICK LINKS

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(CC)OPYRIGHT

The CrosbyReport™ is written by former Advertising Creative Director turned internationally unknown tourist, Peter Crosby. Typed up while day-drinking in Tampa, Florida, this site chronicles Peter’s travels to far more interesting places around the world. All writing and photos are licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0 unless otherwise noted.

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