I do a drive-by of the Martin Agency.

I shot a TV spot for Destin/Ft. Walton Beach. And, even though it was in Florida, the temperature was a chilly 300F. In fact, some of the scenes weren’t usable because you could see the actors’ breath. I froze my tush off. The swimsuit-wearing actors, however, went into hypothermia and had to be taken to…Continue readingI do a drive-by of the Martin Agency.

A weekend in Gainesville, FL.

I recently drove to Gainesville, home of Tom "I look like I could kick off any minute" Petty, to see what they call Gator Growl ’92. This is one of the scariest sights you will ever see. Over 60,000 people filled the University of Florida stadium for what was billed as a pep rally prior…Continue readingA weekend in Gainesville, FL.

Now this is my idea of weather.

Hey, ya know what? Leaves don’t fall off palm trees. Yeah, right. There’s no snow, either. And they expect us to get in the holiday spirit? Not bloody likely. Still, there is a slight chill in the air these days. Fortunately, that’ll be gone by tomorrow. It almost got down to the fifties! (the temperature,…Continue readingNow this is my idea of weather.

Florida cows are the tastiest.

If you look on the license plates in Florida, you may notice what seems to be some kind of amorphous blob in between the numbers and letters. It’s called a Manatee, or a sea-cow. It’s function in the grand scheme of things appears to be similar to that of a land-cow–moving as if the rest…Continue readingFlorida cows are the tastiest.

Raping and pillaging for fun and profit.

Well, it’s that time again. This is that pirate bash I told many of you just one year ago. (It doesn’t seem like it’s been a year, but then my idea of how long a year is has been irrevocably altered due my seemingly unending time in Indiana.) Again, it’s just another in a continuous…Continue readingRaping and pillaging for fun and profit.

Dinosaurs are so cute.

The lizards down here are the coolest. Unlike those annoying cockroaches and spiders–who flock to my kitchen like a welfare recipient to a government cheese truck–when they see anyone coming, they scram. They don’t want anything to do with you. I guess it’s sort of understandable, though. They’re probably still sore about losing world dominance.Continue readingDinosaurs are so cute.

Arenaball, like real football, only not really.

They got this sport called Arenaball. It looks a lot like football, but it’s played indoors on a field half as big. (If you’re really curious, it’s on ESPN too much. It’s marginally entertaining if you’re really bored and Quayle isn’t on C-SPAN putting to rest any doubt that he’s an idiot.) The Tampa Bay…Continue readingArenaball, like real football, only not really.

I didn’t realize that I was afraid of fish.

Around here, fish are really big. It seems like they grow a lot bigger in the ocean than in freshwater lakes up north. There’s 3-feet long fish with huge teeth swimming around in little inlets and canals. Fish with teeth. And people wonder why I don’t scuba dive. What did I just tell you? Fish…Continue readingI didn’t realize that I was afraid of fish.

Sports = Indianapolis

Indianapolis likes to say that it “never met a sport it didn’t like.” In the past few months I’ve seen the Capital City embrace football, hockey, bicycling, and the old Hoosier standby–basketball. Yes, they love their sports in Indiana. I guess the idea of men sweating in close bodily contact appeals to the adventuresome denizens…Continue readingSports = Indianapolis