World’s Worst Tourist competition shocker: America didn’t win.

Shocking only to those who have never met anyone from France.

Shocking only to those who have never met anyone from France, the results of a recent competition revealed that the French are the World’s Worst Tourists. Yet this “scientific” survey surely begs the question: How did America not sweep this award? If there’s one area where America still excels, it’s in grudgingly visiting foreign countries and treating the locals like backwater rubes. Still, this national loss needs some context.

Shocking only to those who have never met anyone from France, the results of a recent competition revealed that the French are the World’s Worst Tourists. Yet this “scientific” survey surely begs the question: How did America not sweep this award in a landslide? I mean if there’s one area where America clearly still excels, it’s in grudgingly visiting foreign countries and treating the people who live there like backwater rubes just because their country isn’t exactly like America in every way. Still, this national loss needs some context.

Before we get all “U! S! A!” on everybody, let’s notice that the reason given for winning the title was that the French “don’t go abroad very much” and “don’t speak much of local language[s].” Two attributes that equally describe another arrogant country in which a mere 25% have a passport and only 22% profess to speak a second language. Namely, ours.

So let’s all tip our Chapeau and thank France for taking the PR bullet for us on this one. We’ve been getting enough bad international press…