Water, water, everywhere. But especially in Sarasota.

It pours down here. Sarasota, my personal favorite beach area, got swamped recently (canoes pulling up to the house, that sort of thing). Oddly, one of the real dangers of excessive rain down here is that it kills fish. Yep. Water kills fish. (Well, okay, fresh water kills saltwater fish. For you landlubbers, the ocean is predominantly saltwater, and rain is, for the most part, freshwater.)

During hurricane season, the store-bought water kills, too. Try to grab it away from some old lady and she’ll bash you with it about the head a few times. They aren’t as feeble as they look. Every grocery store in town was packed with people buying up D-cell batteries and canned food faster than Donald Trump buying up Manhattan. The bottled water aisle had tumble weeds blowing through the shelves.