The first CrosbyReport was launched four years before Drudge and Colbert.

This is a very first digital post on the CrosbyReport™ ever.

NOTE: This is the very first post on the very first CrosbyReport website that was published way back in 1991, four years prior to Drudge and Colbert, those Johnny-come-latelies.

first CrosbyReport
The very first CrosbyReport.

Look, I've been getting a lot of grief from my so-called “friends” who didn't get a copy of the first CrosbyReport— and to those who didn't — hey, too bad. But the Postal Service ain't making it too cheap, what with postage up to 29¢.

So, send me $2.00 (or better yet stamps) and I'll be sure to send you 6 big, bi-monthly, one-color issues of The Crosby Report (And no credit—this ain't no bank. I'm not mailing anybody anything until they pony up the dough.)

Remember, if you don't receive an issue, it's not because I don't like you anymore, it's more likely because you got the last issue, and frankly, not all that much changes.

So, cut me some slack and be happy you got this first CrosbyReport. It's not like MY mailbox in the wall is overflowing with witty letters, cards, and small festive gifts.

So back off!

For reference, the “Postal Service” used to deliver “envelopes” that contained “letters” using “stamps” as a method of payment. Envelopes were folded paper containers for letters. Letters were paper you wrote or typed on to convey messages or information. And stamps were tiny images with glue on the back that was somehow accepted as postal currency.

For more about stupid, old people technology, go here.

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