The biggest threat my pocket-knife poses to airline personnel is from infection.

In the wrong hands, anything can be a dangerous weapon. But who’d choose a pocket-knife?
Hey, TSA, I want my pocketknives back!

When news broke that the had decided to stop stealing people's pocket-knives, I was more than a little happy. Because over the past few years, I'd lost four — count them, FOURtiny little knives to eagle-eyed TSA officers bent on thwarting well-groomed fingernails.

Does the TSA really think someone can do damage with a pocket-knife?

pocket-knife vs machette
What the , TSA? It's a Victorinox Swiss Classic Pocket Knife, not a frikkin' machete!

I always bring a Victorinox Swiss Classic Pocket Knife with me on most trips, mostly for the aforementioned fingernail grooming. Normally, it's in my checked-bag, where the TSA have no perview. But occasionally, I will forget that I have one on my car key-chain and drop it into my personal item that I carry onboard. That's usually when I lose it.

Happily, I thought sanity was prevailing on this vitally important issue for all travelers. As recently as March, the TSA said this about pocket-knives:

Small knives with non-locking blades smaller than 2.36 inches and less than 1/2 inch in width will be permitted.

Huzzah! Their reasoning was that it freed up Transportation Officers to focus efforts on finding higher threat items such as explosives. Or maybe really dangerous stuff like this that you can build with common items you can buy after you're past security.

The TSA is nothing if not inconsistent.

Hey, TSA, I want my pocketknives back!
“Careful, he's got a pocket-knife!”

But now it seems that TSA Administrator, John Pistole, has reversed his commonsense notion to stop screening for tiny pocket-knives after an Inspector General's report questioned the effectiveness of his new approach: racial profiling…sorry, I meant “behavior-detection.”

Look, John, I didn't complain when you made us take our shoes off or buy tiny bottles of shampoo and hair gel (even though you're fighting old tactics). And I didn't say anything when you made me put my laptop in a separate bin for some unknowable reason.

Even the TSA doesn't believe a pocket-knife is dangerous.

But the whole pocket-knife moral panic is just pointless (pun intended). You guys as much as admitted that tiny knives are safe by clearing them back in March.

So, while I appreciate and applaud your desire to keep safe, please stick to your guns on the pocket-knife issue. I, and my horribly dry cuticles, will thank you.

Like these words?

Get notified when I post more of them—once a month, at most).