This is going to seem like a post about frogs, but it's not. Stick with me. (If you're in a hurry, you can skip to the point of this post right now.) Why write about frogs, then, you may be asking. Recently, I found one in my planter (see above photo), and it inspired me to write about Anurans to avoid getting this post buried in the online graveyard of the world's most popular sharing site. So keep reading.
Did you know that frogs are carnivores?
Freaky, right? They apparently feed on insects and other invertebrates, like small birds, mice, and snakes. Fortunately, the biggest—and grossest frog—Conraua Goliath, lives in Africa and only grows to about 13 inches and eight pounds.
That's about the size of an average house cat, an NFL football, or a loaf of bread. So most adult humans could probably beat one in a fist-fight if the frogs ever tried to rise up against us. I mean, before the robots inevitably do.
Florida's humid climate is very amphibian-friendly.
As I've written before, my home in Florida is overrun with Anole lizards, so I wasn't surprised to find frogs hanging out in my yard, too. However, I was surprised to find a ton of tadpoles swimming around in a spring-fed puddle at the end of my neighbor's driveway the other day. Watch the cute video below! Fun!
Okay, this post isn't really about frogs.
Here's the problem: you can't just write a blog post showing how to avoid a company's many annoying product “features,” and expect that company to still show the post to a lot of people. But what could they have against frogs, amiright? So keep reading.
In a nutshell, there's a free extension you should install—let's say it's called, Frog Fixer. When you add it to your frog viewer, it will massively improve your experience on that “FaceZuck” site where most of the world's frogs post cute photos of their tadpoles.
Here are just a few of the things you can do with it:
- Hide Sponsored Frogs
- Hide Frogs You Might Know
- Hide Frog Stories
- Auto-switch the view to Most Recent Frogs
- Hide news about Toads, Newts, and Salamanders
- Filter frogs you don't want to see
- And a bunch more!
No sponsored fluff, just your favorite stuff.
You can basically hide all the toads* you don't want to see, so all that remains are the frogs you want to see! I highly recommend installing the thing I mentioned above. It will make the world's largest frog-sharing site so much better for you. Also, see my other recommendations for stopping a total toad infestation. Seriously, go do it. And donate money to the head frog, he has tadpoles of his own. Now, back to padding this post!
Of the three types of amphibians, one is super-nasty.
The 3 groups are—in no order of importance—Newts and Salamanders, Frogs and Toads, and Caecilians. Now, you may be asking yourself, “What the hell are Caecilians?” and you'd be right not to know. They're a disgusting group of worm-shaped, limbless amphibians that are too horrifying to even contemplate. Do yourself a favor and don't click on the link. I did, and I regret it. Ugh.
They can do more than just say, “ribbit.”
Frogs can't exactly sing, but they can do vocalizations by forcing air through their larynx. These sounds usually function as mating calls, much like Taylor Swift's songs. But whereas Taylor's music is derivative, each species of frog has a unique “song.” It's only a matter of time before some A&R guy gives one of them a record deal.
Okay, so that's how frogs can improve your online interactions. And, if you didn't understand the deeply coded secret message in this post, feel free to contact me for a less convoluted explanation.
*I mean no offense to toads. While there are no taxonomic distinctions between frogs and toads, there are cultural connotations which I cruelly exploited above. Please do not tell toads that I disparaged them, it will only make them sad.