Flight attendants annoyingly try to prevent passenger deaths.

I hate the in-flight safety videos as much as the next guy, probably more-so as I’m kinduva jerk. And I’ve seen the flight attendant safety monologue so many times I could probably give the spiel myself, verbatim. But here’s why I still pay attention.

I hate the in-flight safety videos as much as the next guy, probably more-so as I’m kinduva jerk. And I’ve seen the flight attendant safety monologue so many times I could probably give the spiel myself, verbatim. But here’s why I still pay attention.

I hate the in-flight safety videos as much as the next guy, probably more-so since I’m kinduva self-absorbed jerk. And I’ve seen the flight attendant safety monologue so many times I could probably give the spiel myself, verbatim. But here’s why I still pay attention.

Oh, sure, the airlines tried to make them entertaining in an effort to make the experience less painful (though, they’re still not doing anything about legroom…) Still, I for one, appreciate their gesture of goodwill. 

As much as I hate listening to the bored flight attendants go through the motions of gesturing to the nearest exits, they probably hate it even more — and I feel for them. That’s probably the worst part of the job. 

And when the FAA recently said that fliers no longer had to stow their portable electronic devices, that job quickly got a lot worse. Now, the FAA is trying to allow phone calls…in-flight! So instead of just dealing with a-holes, flight attendants have to deal with a-holes on their cellphones (and those are the worst kind of a-holes).

But it’s not just dealing with dicks that’s the problem with passengers using portable electronic devices before take-off: In a suit against the FAA, an American flight attendants’ union says the devices can distract passengers from safety announcements and become dangerous projectiles.

The judges, who didn’t see the distinction between losing your hold on a book and losing your grip on your mobile phone, told the flight attendant’s union to go pound rocks. Which is too bad because as much as I like my iPhone, I think I like not dying in a plane crash more.