The page you want doesn’t exist, so you got this one instead.

Error 404. It’s a real bummer, amiright? But what does Error “404” really mean? Superficially, it means that my web server couldn’t find the page you requested. Simple enough, right? Yet, on a deeper level, the “Error 404” reveals so much more. It reveals a fundamental flaw with the very universe itself.

Our cosmos is nothing but goddamn chaos and entropy.

The page you were looking for could be in 100 billion other worlds. Good luck!

Think about how all the things in life that weren’t where you were told they’d be? For example, the nearest gas station, your other sock, D. B. Cooper, or even the entire city of Atlantis. I mean, how the hell do you lose a whole city, Carl?!?

Frankly, the list of things that can’t be found goes on and on, ad infinitum. That’s because there’s no unifying or organizing principle around which the universe is built—none at all!

For example, even those so-called “Laws of Physicscannot—or simply will not—predict the location of my car keys at any given moment. Oh, come on! Why are they in the fridge again?!?

When the present determines the future, but the approximate present does not approximately determine the future, that’s a-chaos.


Hopefully, the following pages do still exist:

Barring some quantum bullshit, you should be able to access these non-404 pages. I truly hope they help ease your pain and disappointment.