Copywriter of the Apocalypse.

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On this website, you'll find the sort of advertisements that have helped create an unsustainable cycle of global materialism and unrestrained consumption. A cycle that will inevitably lead to an apocalyptic future in which all mankind is enslaved by giant cockroaches.

[Artist's representation]

You'll see examples of my print, TV, radio and web advertising that have almost certainly aided and encouraged this impending Armageddon. Should you need help speeding up mankind's inescapable fate, please contact me now. I can help.

But don't take my word for it. Contact any of my former bosses, peers, colleagues and co-workers (many of whom will likely be Left Behind with the rest of us).

Thanks for your consideration. And here's to a bright—albeit short—future together.