Found! The inaugural issue of The Crosby Report.

Here lies the very first issue of TheCrosbyReport. I think. It might be the second. I don't really remember. But this is proof that the CrosbyReport existed pre-Internet thereby validating my "Since 1991" claim in the masthead.

Ogg Theora: sci-fi character or the future of televsion?

As you may, or may not know, the Internet is changing. And I don't just mean its slow, corporate take-over and subsequent ruination. No, I mean the advent of HTML 5. Why should you give a crap about something that doesn't involve sports, religion or celebrities? I'm glad you asked.

What your astrological sign says about you: Namely, that you know too much about Astrology.

When I was first introduced to the concept of Astrology as a kid, I was skeptical. After all, believing that the position of the planets and stars could impact your life in any meaningful way, let alone dictate your daily behavior, seemed...what's the word? Oh, yeah, stupid. But the more I learned about this ancient "science," the more I came to feel that people DID seem to reflect the personality traits predicted by their sign. But how? Finally, I read the book that empirically and scientifically explained how and why Astrology really works.

Advertising: It kills democracy dead.

Surprisingly, the problems our country has been experiencing since the 1980s aren't the result of Republican over-spending, military build-ups, religiousity, blatant hypocrisy or rampant marital infidelity. They also aren't the result of Democratic homo-friendly amorality, Pro-Education elitism or “We know best” over-regulation. No, the reason that this once-proud, Capitalistic country is melting down can be traced directly back to one insidious evil: advertising. And I should know, after all, I work in the business.

Helpful customer service reps almost make up for AT&T's vile, corporate policies (almost).

I'm old enough to remember a time when there was only one phone company—we called it the phone company. And while the company didn't have any competition, affordable rates or spark of innovation, it did possess a little thing called customer service. You could call Ma Bell for any reason, and in no time at all, a nice man drove up and fixed "your" phone in a jiffy, without charge. Those were the halcyon days of telecommunications. And the other day, I saw a glimmer of it again. Albeit, briefly.

Peter Crosby: San Francisco Freelance Creative Director, Sr. Copywriter, Tech Life-Coach, and Pointless Blo

Peter Crosby: Creative Director, Senior Copywriter and armchair Nostradamus.

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UPDATE: I predicted the recent economic crash when I added this page back in July, 2007—totally nailed it! (Except for the ‘giant cockroach’ part, of course.)

On this website, you'll find the sort of advertisements that have helped create an unsustainable cycle of global materialism and unrestrained consumption. An unending cycle that will inevitably lead to an apocalyptic future in which all mankind is enslaved by giant cockroaches (see Artist's Rendering).

At left, you'll find advertising case studies that have almost certainly aided and encouraged this impending Armageddon. Should you need help speeding up mankind's inescapable fate, please shoot me an email. I can help.

But don't take my word for it. Read what my former bosses, peers, colleagues and co-workers think (many of whom will likely be Left Behind with the rest of us).

Thanks for your consideration. And here's to a bright—albeit short—future together.

Peter Crosby: Creative Director, Senior Copywriter and armchair Nostradamus.

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