Blog

Why normal people should only buy Apple products. And why I don't.

thecroz — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 17:56:51 +0000

If you’re a normal person—and by normal, I mean, anyone who doesn't know what the Turing Test is—then you should only buy Apple products. Seriously. Sell your Windows PC, Crackberry or Android phone right now. Why? Because, by comparison, non-Apple products frankly suck.

An incompletely researched, half-assed treatise on the demise of trying.

thecroz — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 03:30:46 +0000

This once-proud nation has fallen on hard times of late. America’s manufacturing industry is in the toilet (mostly because that toilet was made cheaper in China). Our non-immigrant kids are no longer the best in math, science or anything that doesn’t involve racking their ’nads. And now it seems that even our criminals are getting lazy. They’re no longer putting in long hours or taking dangerous risks. So whose fault is the demise of our criminal’s work ethic? Most likely, yours.

Advertising: It kills democracy dead.

thecroz — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 00:01:58 +0000

Surprisingly, the problems our country has been experiencing since the 1980s aren't the result of Republican over-spending, military build-ups, religiousity, blatant hypocrisy or rampant marital infidelity. They also aren't the result of Democratic homo-friendly amorality, Pro-Education elitism or “We know best” over-regulation. No, the reason that this once-proud, Capitalistic country is melting down can be traced directly back to one insidious evil: advertising. And I should know, after all, I work in the business.

Scrappy mega-corp triumphs over pathetic, citizen do-gooders.

thecroz — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 00:12:08 +0000

Now that Bush & Co. are finally out of the White House, it seems unnecessary to keep harping on the unrepentant ethical lapses occurring hourly at FOXNews. But since there seems to be no ebb to the tidal wave of biased "reporting" flooding into American homes, I feel this particular outrage merited mention again due to its spectacular sliminess.

Brain-dead backup and stupid-easy sync for numbskull-noobs.

thecroz — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 01:59:45 +0000

I just learned of a free, online backup service that creates a folder on your computer where you can drop files. Anything you put in the folder is then securely uploaded to their website (great for backing up important files). Better yet, you can install it on multiple computers—both Macs AND PCs—so you can send large files back and forth from one computer to another, or from one family member to another.

Google genius solves U.S. energy crisis in spare time, still stumped by ‘girls’

thecroz — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 12:00:56 +0000

Why does it take Google to do real math and create a policy suggestion for ending our nation’s energy crisis? (Don’t we have government types who are supposed to generate these types of plans?)

So while our politicians are scrambling desperately to bail out the sinking financial Titanic they themselves have allowed to side-swipe sub-prime icebergs in recent years, Google has been figuring out how to save the country.

Coca-Cola to stop giving children Parkinson’s disease, liver damage.

thecroz — Tue, 27 May 2008 13:08:06 +0000

In response to my earlier blog post about the dangers of Diet Coke—or more realistically, recent charges that Sodium Benzoate is altering the DNA of children—the Coca-Cola Company has finally decided to remove this "taste-protecting" substance from all their sodas, including Fanta, Dr. Pepper, Sprite and Diet Coke (although not regular Coke).

Attention Freelancers: This is your new time-tracking, billing and invoicing app.

thecroz — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 22:03:14 +0000

I just purchased a web-app called Pancake that does time-tracking, invoicing and everything else. It only costs a one-time $49 fee for software which runs on a web-server (you know, like the ones at the place that hosts your website?) With this “cloud-based” app, you can keep accurate time-sheets whether you’re on your desktop machine, laptop or smartphone! You should look into Pancake right now (mostly because it's awesome, but also because I get a tiny affiliate commission).

How to prevent being manipulated by evil advertising types (like me).

thecroz — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 02:34:00 +0000

Working in the advertising business, I’m privy to a lot of online “services” which are dedicated to tracking your every move on the Internet. Their hope is to figure out who you are, learn all about your interests and activities, tie all that information to your public records and finally sell a frighteningly detailed and accurate personal profile to anyone with literally $39. So, as a public service, here are a few things you can do to thwart these nosy bastards.

A list of government offenses Conservatives should really be upset about.

thecroz — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 16:28:46 +0000

Not that I am a fan of the slow, inexorable erosion of our Constitutionally protected freedoms or Rosie O’Donnell, but I am a fan of calling bullshit, bullshit. And lately, there’s been more bull feces flying around than at a rodeo after a dysentery outbreak. So in that pursuit, I offer Rosie’s list of offenses perpetrated by the Bush Administration that Conservatives didn’t seem to mind:

The collaboration myth of the Open-Plan office.

thecroz — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 23:04:45 +0000

There's a new furniture system sweeping the Silicon Valley called the Open-Plan. It's appealing to designers and accountants because it's an inexpensive way to house a lot of employees in a small area. Better yet, companies are being told that ditching walled offices "fosters collaboration," encouraging employees to talk more and share knowledge more easily. But anyone who's ever worked in one knows better. And I have.

‘Online privacy’ is not an oxymoron (but ‘ethical business’ damn sure is).

thecroz — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 07:46:01 +0000

The days when you could anonymously visit websites about big-breasted women with glasses, or guys wearing diapers while getting spanked are fast coming to a close. Is it the end of the Internet? Not necessarily. But probably.

Found! The inaugural issue of The Crosby Report.

thecroz — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 01:27:40 +0000

Here lies the very first issue of TheCrosbyReport. I think. It might be the second. I don't really remember. But this is proof that the CrosbyReport existed pre-Internet thereby validating my "Since 1991" claim in the masthead.

Ogg Theora: sci-fi character or the future of televsion?

thecroz — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:56:02 +0000

As you may, or may not know, the Internet is changing. And I don't just mean its slow, corporate take-over and subsequent ruination. No, I mean the advent of HTML 5. Why should you give a crap about something that doesn't involve sports, religion or celebrities? I'm glad you asked.

What your astrological sign says about you: Namely, that you know too much about Astrology.

thecroz — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 19:20:43 +0000

When I was first introduced to the concept of Astrology as a kid, I was skeptical. After all, believing that the position of the planets and stars could impact your life in any meaningful way, let alone dictate your daily behavior, seemed...what's the word? Oh, yeah, stupid. But the more I learned about this ancient "science," the more I came to feel that people DID seem to reflect the personality traits predicted by their sign. But how? Finally, I read the book that empirically and scientifically explained how and why Astrology really works.

Helpful customer service reps almost make up for AT&T's vile, corporate policies (almost).

thecroz — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 21:48:14 +0000

I'm old enough to remember a time when there was only one phone company—we called it the phone company. And while the company didn't have any competition, affordable rates or spark of innovation, it did possess a little thing called customer service. You could call Ma Bell for any reason, and in no time at all, a nice man drove up and fixed "your" phone in a jiffy, without charge. Those were the halcyon days of telecommunications. And the other day, I saw a glimmer of it again. Albeit, briefly.

World's Worst Tourist competition shocker: America didn't win.

thecroz — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 23:57:55 +0000

Shocking only to those who have never met anyone from France, the results of a recent competition revealed that the French are the World's Worst Tourists. Yet this "scientific" survey surely begs the question: How did America not sweep this award in a landslide? I mean if there's one area where America clearly still excels, it's in grudgingly visiting foreign countries and treating the people who live there like backwater rubes just because their country isn't exactly like America in every way. Still, this national loss needs some context.

Dead McMuffin walking: Is this the end of fast-food breakfast sandwiches?

thecroz — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:17:18 +0000

McDonald's should be worried. And not just because of the movie "Food, Inc." No, they should be worried because there's a new device out there that could make a bigger dent in their breakfast traffic than telling people the real, nutritional content of a single Egg McMuffin. An invention so radical, you'll never again have to get up before 10:30am after a Friday night bender.

What should the U.S. auto industry really worry about? Freaking zombies, man.

thecroz — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:20:28 +0000

Lately, I've been researching and mulling over my next car purchase (in spite of my previous rant about the “Age of Automobiles” coming to a close. Of course, living in Northern California virtually requires me to buy an environmentally friendly mode of transportation—something that either runs on reclaimed french fry grease, wind-power, solar power or pixie dust. But if you go to any auto dealer around here and ask to see a zero-emission vehicle for less than $50,000, they'll stare at you like a dog trying to solve a Rubic's cube. Accidentally, I discovered what may be the best way to get around town: Zombie power.

The Repubican Oath: Do Republican politicians know about this?

thecroz — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 17:29:04 +0000

I was pretty shocked when I came across the Republican Oath. I mean, I grew up a Republican, but I've been voting Democrat ever since George "Mission Accomplished" Bush ran for president the first time. His way-too-far-right, religious zealotry, general ignorance and incompetence forced me Left—onto the side of the people who insist that pet owners be called..."Pet Guardians." Still, this oath makes me wonder who killed the real GOP.

Gelato Massimo: Surprisingly, it’s not a controlled substance.

thecroz — Mon, 25 May 2009 21:12:23 +0000

Do you know what gelato is? Sure, you’ve probably heard of it—it’s essentially the Northern Italian version of ice cream—but you probably haven’t had any of it. Well, not the real stuff anyway. Fortunately, that’s easy to find out: If you’d rather ingest gelato than oxygen, you’ve probably had the real stuff. But if you prefer breathing, even just a little, then you’ve only had the fake stuff. And that’s a damn shame. Because the real stuff is more addictive than crack cocaine.

Spoiler Alert: The villain in the new Star Trek movie is physicist, Enrico Fermi.

thecroz — Fri, 22 May 2009 00:03:57 +0000

We just got back from watching J.J. Abrams latest effort, Star Trek, and enjoyed ourselves for the most part. Casting, I thought, was particularly inspired (although I did fully expect Spock to point his finger at one of the aliens' heads, make an incision and take his super-power). The acting was also far more nuanced than that of the original series, largely due to the absence of William Shatner. And, of course, the special effects were top-notch, not surprising since the movie cost almost as much as the Republic of Kiribati's GDP (it did, look it up). However, we did have a few issues with the plot afterward. One issue in particular could destroy all science fiction as you know it.

Birds bring it, dogs and cats get served.

thecroz — Fri, 01 May 2009 19:43:55 +0000

Ornithologists and bird-fanciers can (finally) hold their heads up high, extend their headcrest feathers and let loose a shrill “Ha, ha!” at arrogant owners of normal adorable, cuddly, and quiet pets. For centuries, bird owners have been viewed as the full-on nut-cases of Crazy Pet Owner set—more so than even the cat owners who dress theirs in matching sweaters, or the dog owners who carry theirs in a purse. But scientists now believe there is more to birds like cockatoos than just high-pitched shrieking, newspaper soiling and dirty-sounding names.

Dark horse prognost- icators, the Mayans, ask all other religions “Who’s your Daddy now?”

thecroz — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 20:30:40 +0000

In a stunning—and very unsettling—turn of events, modern scientists have found evidence supporting the ancient Mayan prediction of an apocalypse in the year 2012. Mayan astronomers supposedly predicted that 2012 would mark the calamitous “birth of a new era”—an era marked by the rise of giant, sentient cockroaches, I'm guessing.

The financial crisis was society’s fault, but I bet it never does any jail time.

thecroz — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 22:07:14 +0000

Remember when wrong-doing was, well...wrong? Back in the day, people used to feel bad when they did things that everyone else in society agreed were unethical, or just plain creepy. But that all ceased to exist the moment a Hollywood executive invented reality TV. These days, doing wrong no longer results in your immediate and eternal social ostracization, it results in your own television show on E! network.