Found! The inaugural issue of The Crosby Report.

Here lies the very first issue of TheCrosbyReport. I think. It might be the second. I don't really remember. But this is proof that the CrosbyReport existed pre-Internet thereby validating my "Since 1991" claim in the masthead.

Ogg Theora: sci-fi character or the future of televsion?

As you may, or may not know, the Internet is changing. And I don't just mean its slow, corporate take-over and subsequent ruination. No, I mean the advent of HTML 5. Why should you give a crap about something that doesn't involve sports, religion or celebrities? I'm glad you asked.

What your astrological sign says about you: Namely, that you know too much about Astrology.

When I was first introduced to the concept of Astrology as a kid, I was skeptical. After all, believing that the position of the planets and stars could impact your life in any meaningful way, let alone dictate your daily behavior, seemed...what's the word? Oh, yeah, stupid. But the more I learned about this ancient "science," the more I came to feel that people DID seem to reflect the personality traits predicted by their sign. But how? Finally, I read the book that empirically and scientifically explained how and why Astrology really works.

Advertising: It kills democracy dead.

Surprisingly, the problems our country has been experiencing since the 1980s aren't the result of Republican over-spending, military build-ups, religiousity, blatant hypocrisy or rampant marital infidelity. They also aren't the result of Democratic homo-friendly amorality, Pro-Education elitism or “We know best” over-regulation. No, the reason that this once-proud, Capitalistic country is melting down can be traced directly back to one insidious evil: advertising. And I should know, after all, I work in the business.

Helpful customer service reps almost make up for AT&T's vile, corporate policies (almost).

I'm old enough to remember a time when there was only one phone company—we called it the phone company. And while the company didn't have any competition, affordable rates or spark of innovation, it did possess a little thing called customer service. You could call Ma Bell for any reason, and in no time at all, a nice man drove up and fixed "your" phone in a jiffy, without charge. Those were the halcyon days of telecommunications. And the other day, I saw a glimmer of it again. Albeit, briefly.

Peter Crosby: San Francisco Freelance Creative Director, Sr. Copywriter, Tech Life-Coach, and Pointless Blo

The CrosbyReport Archive: My early, awkward years.

Report

Check these links to the early issues of TCR. Many are badly written and rife with typos, but they are hilarious. To me, anyway.

HONOLULU, HAWAII: WINTER 1998

"All-expenses-paid trip" to Wakiki turns out to be Ad-Club ruse.

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA: WINTER 1998

Welcome to Lost Vegas. Check your good taste at the border.

PUERTO VALLARTA: SPRING 1997

"Donde esta casa de cervezas?" Our trip to Mexico.

MENDICINO, CALIFORNIA: WINTER 98

Mendicino. Artist colony or ineffective tourist trap?

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: WINTER 1998

The Mondrian Hotel, yeah, we stayed there.

GILROY, CALIFORNIA: SUMMER 1998

The Gilroy Garlic Fest. (C'mon, where else were they gonna hold it?)

PALM SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA: SPRING 1998

Palm Springs. It's a desert, you know.

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA: WINTER 98

Impressions from an East Coast New Yorker.

MIAMI-TO-SAN FRANCISCO: SPRING 1997

A seven-day bout with white-line fever.

OCHOS RIO, JAMAICA: WINTER 1996

Jamaican me crazy enough to use lame puns.

MIAMI, FLORIDA: SUMMER 95

Miami bound (and gagged).

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA: SPRING 1995

The disturbing, but not too surprising, truth about Tallahassee.

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA: SPRING 1995

Movin' to Tallahassee (aka My eight month lapse in judgment).

KEY WEST, FLORIDA: WINTER 1994

Hand me the Florida Keys, I'm not too drunk to drive.

CALIFORNIA: SUMMER 1993

Lost weekend between LA and San Francisco.

ORLANDO, FLORIDA: LATE SPRING 1992

Paying the Rat his long over dues.

TAMPA, FLORIDA: WINTER 1992

God's waiting room. Take a number.

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The CrosbyReport Archive: My early, awkward years.

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