Original, hand-drawn cartoons I had published in the SF Bay Guardian newsweekly

Arenaball, like real football, only not really.

They got this sport called Arenaball. It looks a lot like football, but it's played indoors on a field half as big. (If you're really curious, it's on ESPN too much. It's marginally entertaining if you're really bored and Quayle isn't on C-SPAN putting to rest any doubt that he's an idiot.) The Tampa Bay Storm is the reigning butt-kickers in the league. We beat everybody last year and only lost once this year. Frankly, since it's not real football, I haven't been keeping up. The games are ridiculously high-scoring. Since the field is only 50 yards long, they score on a decent run up the middle. It seems kinda stupid, but you do get to cheer a lot. (Very important after a few too many beers.)

Birds bring it, dogs and cats get served.

Ornithologists and bird-fanciers can (finally) hold their heads up high, extend their headcrest feathers and let loose a shrill “Ha, ha!” at arrogant owners of normal adorable, cuddly, and quiet pets. For centuries, bird owners have been viewed as the full-on nut-cases of Crazy Pet Owner set—more so than even the cat owners who dress theirs in matching sweaters, or the dog owners who carry theirs in a purse. But scientists now believe there is more to birds like cockatoos than just high-pitched shrieking, newspaper soiling and dirty-sounding names.

Who sucks less? Comcast plus Tivo, or AT&T plus DishNetwork?

I hate paying monthly fees. In fact, I hate paying monthly fees so much that I'm willing to spend stupid amounts of money upfront to avoid them. How stupid? How does $1200 sound? That's how much I almost spent when I was considering a MythTV box (specifically, the MonolithMC, a kick-ass Linux-based Media PC) to avoid paying Tivo their $13 a month service fee.

Spreading Idiocracy

Go rent the Mike Judge movie, "Idiocracy," from Netflix, or your local video-store (just not Blockbuster—they probably won't have it since it has anti-establishment themes). It's an insightful look into the future of Mankind (assuming we continue on our present heading into oblivion).

Maybe they should have called the latest Bond movie, “Quantum of Suckiness.”

Almost two years to the day that I first saw the diminutive Daniel Craig in Casino Royale, I sat through his latest movie, Quantum of Solace. As an action movie, QOS was perfectly fine (although not as good as Casino Royale). Tragically, the new Bond movies are becoming indistinguishable from the equally entertaining “Transporter” series starring equally British tough guy, Jason Statham. But QOS was decidedly not a Bond flick. So once again, I feel obligated to remind the Broccoli family of exactly what is required to be a true Bond flick.

Cartoons are just badly drawn ads that don't sell anything.

by thecroz | September 13, 2005 - 9:02pm

For awhile, The San Francisco Bay Guardian news weekly was offering $50 a pop for cartoons with restaurant themes to run in their newspaper's Dining section. I had a few spare moments and some vestigial drawing skill left, so I cranked out a few in my spare time because, hey...fifty bucks is fifty bucks. Eventually, the Bay Guardian came to its senses and stopped paying out revenue it didn't have. But until then, I took them for a couple hundred in cold, hard cash.

Comments

by Anonymous | July 5, 2007 - 3:34pm

Cartoons

Peter, You're still good. Love, Dad

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quote

by Anonymous | December 29, 2007 - 9:33pm

UD T-shirt

Croz, Where's the "I Partied in the UD Ghetto" cartoon? I have still have one of those shirts. John Brieske

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