culture

A few years back, I was surprised to learn that nearly everything I'd been taught in Bible School about Christmas was, to be blunt, a bunch of lies. Frankly, I’d be surprised if Christian officials were too keen on the actual truth getting out since it makes their religion seem...oh, what's that phrase? Right, “made up.” In actuality, many of the Christmas "traditions" Americans celebrate were co-opted from, of all people, those nutty Pagans. Here's a rundown of Christianity's disappointing lack of originality:

For 8 years, I believed George Bush was an unrepentant charlatan, an ineloquent dolt and a power-hungry madman, but maybe—just maybe—I was wrong about him.

Maybe there was another reason for his lies, war-mongering and mass eradication of our Constitutionally guaranteed rights and freedoms.

On a lark, I took my wife out to Bing Crosby's Restaurant and Piano Lounge way the hell over in Walnut Creek. It's a grueling 40 minute trek across the bridge and into the wilds of the East Bay, but I was overcome by curiosity about this establishment that bore my surname.

We found the restaurant nestled just off Walnut Creek's quaint center of downtown. For a reasonable six bucks, we valet parked and entered the large wooden front doors held open for us by a friendly, sharp-dressed doorman—not a bouncer, mind you, but a proper doorman. In a suit, no less.

As long-time readers know (are there any of those?), I hate paying AT&T any more than I absolutely have to. (Especially now that the company jacked up my DSL bill just "because it can...")

Still, I wanted to get High-Definition programming somehow without paying them...

Here's a fun thing to do: Go to Al Gore's Carbon Calculator and see how you personally are responsible for the untimely demise of this planet. TIP: I found that lying will lower your score substantially.

FEBRUARY 2003

Do you like garlic? I mean, really like garlic? I mean, like it so much you don't mind people gagging at your mere scent? Would you bathe in the stuff if you could? Then you've got to go to Gilroy, California. It is in the middle of nowhere (southeast of San Jose) and home of America's premier and darn near ONLY garlic resources. And guess what? They have a festival. Yeah! A garlic festial! And we went! (Don't ask why. We were bored.)