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Here's a nice compilation of wisdom and insight from people who, today, would almost certainly be either incredibly old, or more likely, emphatically dead.

This recent holiday, I flashed back to a Christmas past. The year was 1999, or maybe 2002, whatever, I don't remember. And it's not important. What is important was how I felt that holiday when American Airlines flew my new wife and I home to New York to spend a few rare days with my family.

It was cold that year and the airline was bustling with travelers excited to see kith and kin. We arrived at JFK Airport looking for our quick puddle-jumper leg up to Rochester. Instead, we got a 7-hour drive inside a van with non-functioning heat. Did I mention it was 20-degrees out and it was a seven hour ride?

Microsoft's new Vista Operating System is #10 on the list of "top 10 terrible tech products" according to Cnet.com:

Any operating system that provokes a campaign for its predecessor's reintroduction deserves to be classed as terrible technology. Any operating system that quietly has a downgrade-to- previous-edition option introduced for PC makers deserves to be classed as terrible technology. Any operating system that takes six years of development but is instantly hated by hordes of PC professionals and enthusiasts deserves to be classed as terrible technology.

According to a CNN report, the esteemed Rev. Fred Phelps and his flock of easily deluded, religious simpletons are convinced that U.S. deaths in Iraq are due entirely to our tolerance of the homosexual lifestyle.

Members of this Topeka, Kansas "church" routinely picket funerals of military personnel killed in Iraq and Afghanistan, carrying signs such as "Thank God for dead soldiers" and "God hates fags."

Here are a number of oddly prescient quotes from one of the founders of this nation, and a relative of Dolly, the maker of Zingers®, Donut Gems, Angel Food and Pound Cakes.

Watch the amazing Buffalo Bill lowlights from last night's Monday Night Football game. The Bills intercepted Dallas QB, Tony Romo, 5 times and had the lead until literally the last play of the game...Are you kidding me?

I hate the forced rationalization used to justify creating this excellent example of advertainment—"it's just an effort to make you smile, in exactly the same way Cadbury Dairy Milk does."

The ad is undeniably hilarious, but I take issue with the advertising strategy behind it. Chocolate makes people smile? Really?

That's pretty weak, isn't it? In my experience, the arrival of chocolate tends to excite people. At the sight of Cadbury, I've seen people's eyes light up and bulge out of their heads. I've seen their mouths drool like a bulldog shot up with Novacaine. Smiling is essentially a secondary response in this case, like blaming the dog after you fart—it's totally involuntary.