Here are a number of oddly prescient quotes from one of the founders of this nation, (and relative of Dolly, the maker of Zingers®, Donut Gems, Angel Food and Pound Cakes).
Still not bringing a reusable canvas bag with you when you shop at the grocery store? Well, now you don't have to feel like your laziness is helping to destroy Earth (as much). It seems that, while you were out double-bagging your Pop-Tarts and simultaneously threatening Man's prolonged existence on this planet, a high-school kid from Canada was as home sifting through landfill soaked in yeast and tap water to isolate the bacterial genus’ Pseudomonas and Sphingomonas.
Are you currently Chevy-Chased, Four to the floor, Having the whirlygigs, Legless, Merl Haggard, Monkey-full, Newcastled, Nicely irrigated with horizontal lubricant, Off me pickle, On a campaign, Pie-eyed, Rat-legged, Saying hello to Mr Armitage, Steampigged, Tashered, With the fairies, and/or Zombied? Then listen up.
I recently saw the summer blockbuster, Zeitgeist, The Movie. It's a harrowing thriller about a secret cabal of elite power brokers who allegedly orchestrated the World Wars (while funding both sides of the conflicts to reap obscene profits) in an effort to form a single global government; a New World Order.
A while back, one of the geniuses at Pacific Gas & Electric tripped over a wire and plunged most of North Beach into the stone age. We were forced to rub PalmPilot's together for heat and forage for arugula. Cappuccino-makers ceased making that whooshy, foam noise. The silence was deafening. The area was paralyzed for hours. White-collar workers stepped out onto the street and rubbed their eyes as if they were seeing the sun for the first time. Many others, stranded without internet connections or cable TV, committed suicide rather than face a bleak and frightening convenience-less world.