Recently, I set up a nifty GoogleAlert to notify me by email, anytime my name appeared on The Interwebs—seemed like a good idea at the time. But then, so did inventing the internal-combustion engine and look at how well that turned out. Unfortunately, there's another guy with the same name who lives in the same town—a curious coincidence, to be sure. As a result, I get an email every time either of our names appear on the web. But it gets worse...

By any objective criteria, he's a much better person than I am. Evidently, when he's not out signing International Campaign to Ban Land-mines petitions, he's designing and manufacturing artificial hearts.

So since my twin is out doing good all the time, I came to the inescapable conclusion that I must be the evil twin (kind of a bummer, really). But on the plus side, it certainly helps explain all the severed heads in my fridge...