How come I never get to be in THESE studies?

Scientists recently tested the effects of meditation versus sleep, reading and conversing. (Personally, I only get called in for "rage" studies.) And, no doubt, they tested on compensated subjects (getting paid to sleep; nice work if you can get it). But the results were somewhat surprising.

From the NewScientist: "Ten volunteers were tested before and after 40 minutes of either sleep, meditation, reading or light conversation, with all subjects trying all conditions. The 40-minute nap was known to improve performance (after an hour or so to recover from grogginess). But what astonished the researchers was that meditation was the only intervention that immediately led to superior performance, despite none of the volunteers being experienced at meditation."

There was, oddly, no comparison to the effects of blacking out after 40-minutes of binge drinking. Ommmmmmmmm.