Pain killers and alcohol do not mix.

A list of government offenses Conservatives should really be upset about.

Not that I am a fan of the slow, inexorable erosion of our Constitutionally protected freedoms or Rosie O’Donnell, but I am a fan of calling bullshit, bullshit. And lately, there’s been more bull feces flying around than at a rodeo after a dysentery outbreak. So in that pursuit, I offer Rosie’s list of offenses perpetrated by the Bush Administration that Conservatives didn’t seem to mind:

Bill Gates gives Society back some of the money he illegally bilked from Society, gets sainted.

Mr. Gates is finally leaving Microsoft to dedicate the majority of his remaining years curing malaria and doling out charitable grants through the Bill And Melinda Gates Foundation, the wealthiest foundation in the world. Thanks to illegal, backroom dealings and extortion, Bill built Microsoft from a small software company into a full-fledged monopoly in just 20 short years. During that time, Microsoft made workers pull 80-hour weeks, categorized them as "temporary" and "freelance" to avoid paying medical benefits, and threatened critical employees with lawsuits if they tried to leave. But that's not why I'm mad.

I didn't realize that I was afraid of fish.

Around here, fish are really big. It seems like they grow a lot bigger in the ocean than in freshwater lakes up north. There's 3-feet long fish with huge teeth swimming around in little inlets and canals. Fish with teeth. And people wonder why I don't scuba dive. What did I just tell you? Fish with teeth. It's kind of scary. And the fish aren't even what I worry about. Tampa Bay has the third largest concentration of sharks in the world (after the Great Barrier Reef and someplace in Australia). Yes, you read that correctly. S-H-A-R-K-S. Now, sharks I'm told, have teeth as well. Only big teeth. Really big teeth.

Who sucks less? Comcast plus Tivo, or AT&T plus DishNetwork?

I hate paying monthly fees. In fact, I hate paying monthly fees so much that I'm willing to spend stupid amounts of money upfront to avoid them. How stupid? How does $1200 sound? That's how much I almost spent when I was considering a MythTV box (specifically, the MonolithMC, a kick-ass Linux-based Media PC) to avoid paying Tivo their $13 a month service fee.

The dangers of finding your Doppelgänger.

Recently, I set up a nifty GoogleAlert to notify me by email, anytime my name appeared on The Interwebs—seemed like a good idea at the time. But then, so did inventing the internal-combustion engine and look at how well that turned out. Unfortunately, there's another guy with the same name who lives in the same town—a curious coincidence, to be sure. As a result, I get an email every time either of our names appear on the web. But it gets worse...

You may need a drink before reading this.

Blog | 12.13.05 | By thecroz

Are you currently Chevy-Chased, Four to the floor, Having the whirlygigs, Legless, Merl Haggard, Monkey-full, Newcastled, Nicely irrigated with horizontal lubricant, Off me pickle, On a campaign, Pie-eyed, Rat-legged, Saying hello to Mr Armitage, Steampigged, Tashered, With the fairies, and/or Zombied? Then listen up.

The supposedly safe Acetaminophen (aka, Tylenol) is the now leading cause of acute liver failure. Especially when mixed with alcohol. Ibuprofen is no better as it can cause ulceration and bleeding, kidney dysfunction, and liver inflammation. While Naproxen has been shown to elevate your risk of heart attack and stroke.

So what's a hungover drunk to do? Take coated-aspirin instead. After all, who needs a stomach lining?

Comments

by TheLimey (not verified) | January 5, 2006 - 1:46pm

Tylenol always gives you a

Tylenol always gives you a prolonged and painful death by liver failure (takes 3 days of agony, apparently) if you take too much while still drunk. Ibuprofen may or may not cause stomach ulcers if you take it for a long time. As may Asprin, if you're unlucky.

Personally, my favourite hang-over med is Ketoprofen (brand name: Orudis KT). Fabulous pain relief and maybe-perhaps a stomach ulcer if I'm really unlucky.

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