NASCAR is stupid fun.

“Ubuntu” is evidently African for “F*ck Microsoft”

“Ubuntu” is evidently the African term for "F*ck Microsoft," because the latest version of this open-source Linux Operating System does pretty much everything the average user could ever want as well as, if not better than, Windows. True, it's a little crude in areas where Mac-enthusiasts like myself might notice (type rastering, for example). But for Windows users, the experience would differ little in appearances, and differ greatly in non-suckiness. I recently burned the latest version of Ubuntu 8.04 onto a CD-R and booted my MacBook off the disc with stunning results.

Bill Gates gives Society back some of the money he illegally bilked from Society, gets sainted.

Mr. Gates is finally leaving Microsoft to dedicate the majority of his remaining years curing malaria and doling out charitable grants through the Bill And Melinda Gates Foundation, the wealthiest foundation in the world. Thanks to illegal, backroom dealings and extortion, Bill built Microsoft from a small software company into a full-fledged monopoly in just 20 short years. During that time, Microsoft made workers pull 80-hour weeks, categorized them as "temporary" and "freelance" to avoid paying medical benefits, and threatened critical employees with lawsuits if they tried to leave. But that's not why I'm mad.

You must be this tall to enlist

Wow, and I kinda thought my paranoid concerns about America turning into a military/industrial complex (like the Empire in Star Wars) were unfounded. Sadly, I was wrong. According to CNN.com: The Army is considering a proposal to allow a private developer to build a military-themed park that would include Cobra Gunship rides and bars including a '1st Division Lounge.' Seriously, how else will The Army be able to breed a new generation of Storm Troopers? Unrelated fun: check out Chad Vader, Day Shift Manager.

Coca-Cola to stop giving children Parkinson’s disease, liver damage.

In response to my earlier blog post about the dangers of Diet Coke—or more realistically, recent charges that Sodium Benzoate is altering the DNA of children—the Coca-Cola Company has finally decided to remove this "taste-protecting" substance from all their sodas, including Fanta, Dr. Pepper, Sprite and Diet Coke (although not regular Coke).

The Repubican Oath: Do Republican politicians know about this?

I was pretty shocked when I came across the Republican Oath. I mean, I grew up a Republican, but I've been voting Democrat ever since George "Mission Accomplished" Bush ran for president the first time. His way-too-far-right, religious zealotry, general ignorance and incompetence forced me Left—onto the side of the people who insist that pet owners be called..."Pet Guardians." Still, this oath makes me wonder who killed the real GOP.

Blog | 03.10.97 | By thecroz

By asking nicely, we got into a sold-out NASCAR race at the new Homestead Racetrack (God had conveniently cleared the area with Hurricane Andrew three years ago). As you may know, this is not highbrow racing. This is Yee-Ha! racing. (Judging by the crowd, you'd be hard pressed to put together one entire set of teeth.) And as such, NASCAR isn't about skill, finesse or, for that matter, hygiene. It's about Budweiser and crashing. A lot.

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BOOKS

I am America (And so can you!), Stephen Colbert—Sage advice for an ailing nation.
God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything, Christopher Hitchens—The case against belief.
The Fabric of the Cosmos: Space, Time, and the Texture of Reality, Brian Greene—A mind-bending romp through quantum physics.
Adam's Curse: A Future without Men, Bryan Sykes—It's not MY fault, it's my chromosome's.
1984, George Orwell—Who says no one can predict the future?
Nonzero : The Logic of Human Destiny, Robert Wright—It gives you hope for the future.
The Stranger, Albert Camus—Alienated existentialism at its best.
A Short History of Nearly Everything, Bill Bryson—Why aren't textbooks this funny?

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