I am involved in an accident.

Here's what happened: Some stupid (rhymes with “ditch”) decided to stop dead in the passing lane on the way back from Thanksgiving in bumper-to-bumper traffic. (Evidently she didn't feel it was necessary to pull off the road before executing this keenly timed maneuver.) And, after a series of controlled collision avoidance tactics, I was none the less unable to avoid a small collision with a woman from Kentucky. (On her way back from a Browns game. Two accidents in one day, huh, Larry?) Between the two of us we couldn't find any possible reason to prompt her sudden need to test her brakes. The damage appeared minimal, but I was extremely pissed and did a lot of swearing. Especially after the trooper cited me $60 for traveling too closely.

The woman (identified as such by the woman I hit) who started this mess got away. She didn't stop, apparently unaware that 65-0 mph stops in heavy traffic for hallucinations are illegal on our fine freeways. Regardless of what your bumper-sticker says.

Upon getting the damage estimated, I found that "minimal damage" was going to cost me $850.00 (A $500 deductible brings my insurance rate down to a more manageable $1,000 a year, even though I haven't ever had an accident or a moving violation. Now, however, I have both.)! When I regained consciousness, I did a lot more swearing.

Sure, it was my fault and I accept full responsibility, (even though I didn't cause the accident). My mistake was in not paying attention. I was lulled into inattentiveness by idiots mindlessly driving in the passing lane. Believe me, that is the last time I ever give anyone the benefit of the doubt as far as driving ability. Because here in the Midwest, they don't sneak in and around the law like back East, they blatantly disregard it. I've seen moves out here that would terrify Stephen King. (People passing on the right-hand shoulder of the highway at 70mph, for instance!) It may be true that back East people drive like maniacs, but out here in the Midwest, people drive like shit.