Working in the advertising business, I’m privy to a lot of online “services” which are dedicated to tracking your every move on the Internet. Their hope is to figure out who you are, learn all about your interests and activities, tie all that information to your public records and finally sell a frighteningly detailed and accurate personal profile to anyone with literally $39. So, as a public service, here are a few things you can do to thwart these nosy bastards.
All over the world, magazines and newspapers are struggling to survive, fending off certain death like Jesse Eisenberg in Zombieland. It's an industry-wide problem that's affecting even progressive pubs like the New York Times and Wired Magazine. Despite huge traffic numbers, their current ‘advertising-only’ model isn't going to let them keep paying qualified journalists for much longer. So they know they need to move to a different model. But which one? Well, how about this brilliant one?
If you’re a normal person—and by normal, I mean, anyone who doesn't know what the Turing Test is—then you should only buy Apple products. Seriously. Sell your Windows PC, Crackberry or Android phone right now. Why? Because, by comparison, non-Apple products frankly suck.
This once-proud nation has fallen on hard times of late. America’s manufacturing industry is in the toilet (mostly because that toilet was made cheaper in China). Our non-immigrant kids are no longer the best in math, science or anything that doesn’t involve racking their ’nads. And now it seems that even our criminals are getting lazy. They’re no longer putting in long hours or taking dangerous risks. So whose fault is the demise of our criminal’s work ethic? Most likely, yours.
Not that I am a fan of the slow, inexorable erosion of our Constitutionally protected freedoms or Rosie O’Donnell, but I am a fan of calling bullshit, bullshit. And lately, there’s been more bull feces flying around than at a rodeo after a dysentery outbreak. So in that pursuit, I offer Rosie’s list of offenses perpetrated by the Bush Administration that Conservatives didn’t seem to mind:
The days when you could anonymously visit websites about big-breasted women with glasses, or guys wearing diapers while getting spanked are fast coming to a close. Is it the end of the Internet? Not necessarily. But probably.
Got a BMW, Mercedes or Volvo? Tired of getting reamed up the ass by dealers? Then you should check out Auto Analysts. They're an independent shop in SOMA that does great work at a fair price. Weird, huh?
