automobiles

Got a BMW, Mercedes or Volvo? Tired of getting reamed up the ass by dealers? Then you should check out Auto Analysts. They're an independent shop in SOMA that does great work at a fair price. Weird, huh? | Read more »

Lately, I've been researching and mulling over my next car purchase (in spite of my previous rant about the “Age of Automobiles” coming to a close. Of course, living in Northern California virtually requires me to buy an environmentally friendly mode of transportation—something that either runs on reclaimed french fry grease, wind-power, solar power or pixie dust. But if you go to any auto dealer around here and ask to see a zero-emission vehicle for less than $50,000, they'll stare at you like a dog trying to solve a Rubic's cube. Accidentally, I discovered what may be the best way to get around town: Zombie power. | Read more »

We just finished up a TV spot for an EA video game called Need for Speed, High Stakes. It's a car racing series that is very authentic, and therefore, very popular. Each year, they improve it and come up with a hook for the game. This year, it's pink-slip mode where you get to race and win someone else's car. So we came up with TV commercial based on the tale of a mysterious driver who owns a silver, 1997 Porsche Twin-turbo (No, not me, sadly). | Read more »

To our friends who've had the misfortune of being picked up at the airport in one of our cramped subcompacts, I say rejoice. We are now making obscene monthly payments on a new automobile. And it's a four-door. (I know it looks bad, but it doesn't foreshadow any rug-rats in the near future--even if we have one, we have to give it directly to the bank.) We just needed a bigger car. So when Amy suggested we trade in HER car for a new one, I jumped at the chance. It's a 1996 Audi A4 sedan. Metallic green with Ecru leather interior. Very nice. In fact everything about it is nice, except the Bose® "premium" stereo.

Here's what happened: Some stupid (rhymes with “ditch”) decided to stop dead in the passing lane on the way back from Thanksgiving in bumper-to-bumper traffic. (Evidently she didn't feel it was necessary to pull off the road before executing this keenly timed maneuver.) And, after a series of controlled collision avoidance tactics, I was none the less unable to avoid a small collision with a woman from Kentucky. (On her way back from a Browns game. Two accidents in one day, huh, Larry?) Between the two of us we couldn't find any possible reason to prompt her sudden need to test her brakes. The damage appeared minimal, but I was extremely pissed and did a lot of swearing. Especially after the trooper cited me $60 for traveling too closely. | Read more »